Reaching New Low

[Kailani]

I don't really know why I am writing this tonight. I guess I just feel so overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated that I needed a place to vent. Recently I reached my lowest point. For weeks I struggled to function as my OCD and anxiety ruled my life. Eventually, something gave and an event (I won't go into detail) occurred. After this event I felt relatively ok. Not happy but not sad. Numb. Which for me is fine. At least I can function. At least I feel relatively normal. However, the past few days I feel myself slipping back into that mindset. And it scares me. I am so terrified of getting stuck in that mindset again. I don't want to go through it again. In fact I don't know if I have the energy to go through it again. My increased anxiety is making my OCD so much worse. My routines are ruling my life, leaving me exhausted. Frustrated. I hate this. I just want to live life normally. But maybe I am not meant to? Maybe I am destined to always feel this way? The worst thing is I have no support network. Nor do I think I ever will. There are too many things stopping me from getting help. I have so much respect for people fighting mental illness. It takes so much strength. I hope u are all well. Now time to go do my rituals/routines...

(Just because I am scared someone might accuse me of self diagnosing, I sought help a few years ago and it was during this time that I was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. However, I stopped seeing a psychologist not long after the diagnosis hence I have no support network)

[Sophie_M]

Hi Kailani.

We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community tonight and are so sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. Your experience with OCD and Anxiety sounds challenging. We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. We're sure that our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.

Keep checking in to let us know how you’re going, whenever you feel up to it.
 

[Petal22]

Hello Kailani,

sorry you are feeling this way..... I had OCD severely and I have now recovered from it......there is hope you CAN recover aswell with the correct help.

My recovery started from seeing my gp through to seeing a clinical psychologist and phyciatrist which led me to a clinic that specialised in OCD.... I did group therapy with this clinic it was the best thing I ever did it taught how to master my OCD....

have you tried meditation? OCD is a thinking cycle once you are aware of your cycle you CAN begin to break free of it.....

you are not alone many people have this condition...

once you are aware of your compulsions you need to work on stopping them.... don’t do them..... this is part of the cycle once you are aware of this thought arising turn your attention to something else in the present moment...

practice mindfulness

I’m here if you want to chat 😊