Hello everyone,
I'm new to this thread, but I'm also new to reaching out for help on this kind of platform.
I've had anxiety for my entire life. I believe it first started when I was in early primary school and threw up for the first time (that I can remember). Since that day, the fear of throwing up has plagued my life more than you can imagine. Only those with this kind of phobia can relate to how debilitating and overwhelming it can be. Despite this phobia, I've only thrown up maybe six times since then. I've got a fantastic immune system but I neglect to tell myself that whenever I feel sick.
I was on medication for two years a few years back. Two years ago, I weaned myself off them because I was in a new relationship and everything felt good. I hadn't had a panic attack for ages before I got off them, so I felt it was the right thing. I only really had panic attacks during the time my period was due, most likely due to the hormone changes and nausea that I experienced.
Fast forward to three months ago when the company I work for stopped paying myself and the rest of the staff. It has now been 14 weeks, and during that time, weekly promises of the money being paid by EOW were made yet none were followed through. My partner of two years worked for the company too, so with us both not being paid, we were trying to tread water and keep each other afloat, which just wasn't working. We broke up three weeks ago because the stress was too much. We couldn't afford rent, car repayments, food or general bills.
I lasted for the first five weeks without any severe stress or anxiety. Perhaps I was in denial. Only after the update meeting during week five did I lose it. From there, I started having constant anxiety attacks. Having moved home three weeks ago, I have had daily panic attacks, sometimes up to four a day. I've been unable to see friends or get out of the house most of the time due to limited availability to funds.
I have a new job lined up for next week, but I'm worried that I will have panic attacks whilst I'm there. They're usually over nothing in particular, but I'm worried that I won't be able to escape if I get worried.
I wish people who didn't experience this level of anxiety would understand what it's like. It's debilitating and awful and all consuming.
Stay strong everyone. One way or another, there is help available and I've made my first step by booking in with NewAccess and seeing my doctor.
