Hello readers
Here is my story...
I'm a 22 year old Male who has been struggling with daily anxiety and now depression as a result.
Around 4 months ago, I was using the Illicit drug methamphetamine with a friend, I never regularly experimented with this substance, let's say every few months we'd set aside a few days and have a bender with mutual friends. Maybe 10 times in my lifetime, max. I was a regular weed smoker and on occasion ecstasy, so we can establish I wasn't a model citizen. I was caught up in the fun and it was common practice with my friends, this is my main regret, I can't undo it, i wish I could now, with that said, let me tell you about my incident.
That night, 4 months ago, after smoking quite a large amount of the drug ice, not knowing at the time how much was too much as I generally thought I could handle it and having been awake for possible 48 hours? Hard to say considering how long ago it was, I then proceeded to smoke some weed, which this wasn't a new thing, I often would mix drugs without incident. I proceeded to have a shower, shortly after getting in i began to feel really uncomfortable in the chest, my focus was then drawn to my heart-rate, being on a stimulant, it was racing, I immediately left the shower, got dressed and entered my roommates room, complaining of chest pain and concerned, he said not to worry, that i was just "paz". the intensity increased and I began having problems breathing, and was convinced I was having a heart attack, I demanded he call 000, After a half an hour wait with me on the ground, fearing I was about to die, I was taken to hospital, they diagnosed an overdose. I was sent home and since then, have had daily chest pains, chest tightness, constant palpitations and pounding heart, headaches, random pains, constant fear of having another incident, panic and various other terrifying symptoms. After countless visits to GP's, I was referred to a psychologist, I'm on my sixth session and it does help, I have longer periods without losing control but I'm still struggling. I've been considering antidepressants since it was recommended by the GP months ago but I'm really worried about it making me feel worse in the initial weeks, my symptoms already terrify me, particularly heart related one's. I've read myself into hysteria about side effects, what's worse, my parents aren't even aware of any of this, for their own sake. I just don't see myself ever being normal again, I fear this is permanent
