Drug Induced Daily Anxiety

[DassaJassa]

Hello readers
Here is my story...
I'm a 22 year old Male who has been struggling with daily anxiety and now depression as a result.
Around 4 months ago, I was using the Illicit drug methamphetamine with a friend, I never regularly experimented with this substance, let's say every few months we'd set aside a few days and have a bender with mutual friends. Maybe 10 times in my lifetime, max. I was a regular weed smoker and on occasion ecstasy, so we can establish I wasn't a model citizen. I was caught up in the fun and it was common practice with my friends, this is my main regret, I can't undo it, i wish I could now, with that said, let me tell you about my incident.

That night, 4 months ago, after smoking quite a large amount of the drug ice, not knowing at the time how much was too much as I generally thought I could handle it and having been awake for possible 48 hours? Hard to say considering how long ago it was, I then proceeded to smoke some weed, which this wasn't a new thing, I often would mix drugs without incident. I proceeded to have a shower, shortly after getting in i began to feel really uncomfortable in the chest, my focus was then drawn to my heart-rate, being on a stimulant, it was racing, I immediately left the shower, got dressed and entered my roommates room, complaining of chest pain and concerned, he said not to worry, that i was just "paz". the intensity increased and I began having problems breathing, and was convinced I was having a heart attack, I demanded he call 000, After a half an hour wait with me on the ground, fearing I was about to die, I was taken to hospital, they diagnosed an overdose. I was sent home and since then, have had daily chest pains, chest tightness, constant palpitations and pounding heart, headaches, random pains, constant fear of having another incident, panic and various other terrifying symptoms. After countless visits to GP's, I was referred to a psychologist, I'm on my sixth session and it does help, I have longer periods without losing control but I'm still struggling. I've been considering antidepressants since it was recommended by the GP months ago but I'm really worried about it making me feel worse in the initial weeks, my symptoms already terrify me, particularly heart related one's. I've read myself into hysteria about side effects, what's worse, my parents aren't even aware of any of this, for their own sake. I just don't see myself ever being normal again, I fear this is permanent

[Ryan7272]

Cheers for the reply.

Yeah hopefully it will go away after a while. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol.

But it’s when I get tired I usually get the attacks .

Yesterday I went for a surf and came home and had bad ones when I was trying to sleep.

glad you’re pushing through it. Hope you get it under control. i think I’ll need some sort of help. Been 6 months and it’s gotten better but still every day or second day I have them.

thanks again for the reply. Stay strong bud!

[Ryan7272]

Hey mate,

awesome info mate!

yeah some days are better than others but I think it’s mainly when I run myself down they come on.

Seems like I busted something inside like I’m running on 3 cylinders ha

its probably a blessing it disguise.

I am 39 been partying al lot over the years . Just had the coke at the wrong time.

I won’t be having it again.

i can’t drinking coffee which makes me really tired now . Because it’s brings on episodes where I’m about to faint . But never have fully fainted.

Just started a new job and nearly fainted at the smoko table. I hid it pretty well.

anyway thanks heaps I’ll go through the points you wrote and hopefully start getting rid of this crap

[Billyc]

Surfing is a great source of curing yourself, I used to surf heaps, but I’ve put in wait these past two years,

I took my two daughters and my beautiful brother to point Leo today, swell looked awesome, and not busy.. it has inspired me to get back out there and get wet...

I physically pat myself on the shoulder daily because I want remember the wins.. today was a win, I gave my daughters a really good day.. One of them said something amazing, it was really windy and the Sand was blowing in the air, she said

”look dad, the sand is dancing”...

very best to all

[Lukesydney]

Yeah good on you for giving up Alcohol, I haven't tried that yet. It's on the cards for sure, as It's definitely not helping me.

Got a cold at the moment, so feels like my heads worse than ever. Anyway mate I will be lurking on the forums, keep us posted.

[Joey123]

Hey fellas

Trust me when I say things get better.. it takes time but do get better. So don't think your life is "stuffed". You'll grow and learn how to manage this, some days may be harder but it does get better. Ups and downs are part of life.

I myself am back drinking coffee, i go out now and then for a beer with the boys (dont have big nights as I prefer to get home for a good night sleep and wake up fresh). I'm exercising, working, even studying etc.. all this was impossible to do late last year.

I still have days where some things get to much, I get overwhelmed but I step away, apply positive thinking, breathe and focus on breathing.


Remember we cant change the past but we can decide the future.

[Joey123]

Hey Ryan

Have you seen a GP and got a mental health plan? You get 10 sessions with a psychologist. I did it and found it helped.. just talking to a professional and applying some of the skills I learnt made a difference. I highly recommend it mate

[Andy999]

Hey guys somehow stumbled across this post and feels like I can relate to you guys a lot, I’m 23, always been a popular guy love a beer with the boys and big night out, my anxiety started when I was 18 after taking some ecstasy, as the drug was kicking it I felt horrible and started panicking hard, those feelings blew over and I started feeling good, but from the next morning onwards I didn’t feel the same anymore, I ended up getting an anxiety disorder from this and suffering for years, but I always pushed through, kept social and working and eventually my anxiety barely bothered me, I was more cautious then my mates about certain things and pretty much steered clear of all drugs except alcohol but I lived pretty much a normal life and felt a lot better, so yeh believe that it gets better with time, a few months ago I relapsed hard and wasn’t able to get out of it, not sure why maybe just a build up of things but Yeeh I’ve been feeling pretty awful since, it’s a lot more intense this time.

im back seeing a psychologist (3 sessions in) I’m noticing some improvements from this but still doing it tough, its brought on a pretty intense depression to so it’s hard to have a ‘good day’ but I’m staying motivated. I’m still pushing through work and playing sports and socialising and all that but its really hard to somedays, I spend a lot of time obsessing over my anxiety trying to put the pieces together on what exactly it is I’m feeling or what’s making me feel ‘off’ which gets me stuck in my head to much, I’m doing meditation and can’t see how it can benefit but the anxiety is so intense atm it’s hard to put what I’m learning with the psych to work a lot of the time, it’s all just really hard atm but yeh if any of yous have some advice that would help cheers

[Jesse3]

My story..
Back in early 2018 my parents divorced with no warning. A couple months on my dad left to go up north for a new family.. I was about 15 during this time keep in mind. See my dad was my idol, I’d do everything with him and he was always there for me. Around December time we had a disagreement and a few arguments, all were pretty resolvable problems. He took this as an opportunity to stop talking to me and continue his life up north. As you could probably imagine I was very broken and unsure what was going to happen or how I should be feeling about all this. I started using drugs not long after the divorce of my parents, it was a very messy situation. Keep noted I have ADHD so I’ve been on many prescriptions for that. My father was my happiness and my most of my outlets, one after the other I didn’t have many left so I started using drugs often up until my 16th birthday. (April 2019) About 3 months on I started experimenting with other illicit and prescription drugs. At this point (September) I was a regular drug user, everyday with harder drugs on the weekend. I was in grade 9 at this time and school really wasn’t my thing anymore. Moving on to November I had many contacts to get all sorts of different drugs. I acquired some drugs late November as I saw an opportunity to make some quick cash. Gosh was I wrong.. I got caught in the trap taking them, I was taking several a day at one point. After trying to quit them I had my first panic attack that night while sleeping.. followed by one after the other nonstop I genuinely thought I was going to die. I didn’t sleep at all and started to hear voices talking to me. I continued to use drugs after that had all passed. About a month later I almost OD’d on prescription meds and had to be hospitalised. After these scares I’ve now developed bad anxiety and stress. I dropped out of school to pursue a trade at a college but got kicked out after a term for drug use.. I continued to smoke, drink and use drugs after all this. Before Christmas I OD’d on drugs and was now my 3rd Hospital trip. Now at the start of 2020 I can’t take any illicit drugs or drink without panic attacks or the fear of dying. I was so laid back with a clear mind and many friends around me until my drug abuse. I wish I could have stopped myself from abusing drugs as I suffer from bad anxiety and chest pains daily. I’m starting to get sick of it all..

[Lukesydney]

Hey Jesse

Thanks for sharing your experience and sorry to hear about your daily anxiety and chest pains.

Have to manage to speak to anyone about your experiences with your Dad etc? Medicare does subsidise psych visits and could be worth chatting about.

Luke

[TomC88]

Hi Andy,

I just came across your post and thought I would reply, since your story sounds almost identical to mine.

I’m 31 now but when I was 17 (back in 2006), I had a period of a few months where I “went pretty hard”, but not what you would class as being completely off the rails.

One week I took pills (ecstasy) about 3 nights out of the 7. Fairly heavy MDMA. The last night that I took it, I had what I thought was just a bad trip. Wigged out pretty hard, heart palpitations, blurred vision, General uneasiness. I eventually passed out with exhaustion. The next week I felt ok for the most part but had a few small panic attacks.

The next weekend I was at a party and I smoked some weed with a mate before we went in and it started again. I eventually went home and laid in bed staring at the roof for a few hours until I passed out.

I woke up the next morning expecting it to have gone away, but it hadnt.

I didn’t leave the house for about 3 months. I couldn’t socialise with anybody, stayed in my bed with the light off most of the day, couldn’t watch anything that was too stressful and couldn’t communicate with my friends anymore, who couldn’t understand what I was going through. That was probably the worst part, the feeling of “why me?” All my friends were getting on with it and I felt like I was permanently broken.

My anxiety has been with me ever since. I’ve been on SSRIs for 14 years now.  Sometimes I dont even think about the anxiety for months at a time. Then it will creep back up and force me to deal with it. I’m now looking at finding an appropriate time to cut down the SSRIs and try to take back control of my mind and emotions.

In the time since my anxiety first came on though, looking back, I have achieved a lot. I have now held a high stress consulting job for 6 years, working around SE Asia. I’ve been on the board of a few political organisations and NGOs and have travelled pretty extensively.

If I could give you any advice, it would be to make sure you keep exercising, eat healthy and keep up your personal hygiene. It gets harder as you get older and it will have a massive effect on your anxiety levels over time.

I guess looking back, the key thing I have taken from all of this is that life goes on. From an outside perspective, my life has been no different to anybody elses. I have just had to work harder than most people to achieve the things I want to achieve.