Dealing with people

[BigRed23]

So, I was working with a client during the last weekend and I was threatened by a member of the public just because I did not move for him so he could retrieve a bag. I thought that I could deal with it but I saw the gentleman again whilst out with my family. My family did not see him as they had gone as my 30 week old son was upset so my wife took him to breastfeed him. Since then my anxiety levels have gone up as the thoughts of being assaulted have brought up some old wounds. I have already spoken to a person through Beyond Blue and I have now informed my workplace of the incident. (as you can imagine my mind was not thinking at the time of the first incident)

How the hell do I try and get these thoughts out of my head knowing that he is a member of the public and I can see him at anytime! Thanks for any advice!

[Croix]

Dear BigRed23~

I guess many of us are apprehensive in general about street violence, and I'm not sure there is an easy answer, however will offer a few thoughts.

There are some elementary precautions that can help, from trying to be accompanied in areas you anticipate problems though to a small personal alarm and having emergency services on speed dial. No, not ideal and not suitable on many occasions, however something.

As for the actual incident, OK you were threatened, though it did not come to violence. You also said that there were previous matters that were triggered by this. Do you think it would be helpful to try to come to terms with those old matters. It may be the case that the after-effects of them is making you more sensitive to the possibility of hassles now.

I don't know, I'm guessing. I do think that one's general feelings of well-being and calm have an effect on being overly worried about unpleasant possibilities. I"m not saying there is never a real threat, just that as one is limited on what one can do in advance one thing to try is to reduce the worry itself.

For many this boils down to lifestyle, with exercise, nutrition and decent sleep, taken together with doing things that one enjoys and takes the mind away from daily hassles. I use books, movies, being with my partner, going for works and so on - do you have equivalents?

I'm afraid I've not really given much in the way of remedy. Perhaps if you feel the matter is taking over seeing your GP and being tested for anxiety might be good. That would probably in any case be the way to go to settle old memories. -What do you thnk?

Croix

[baet123]

Hey bigred23,

Welcome to the forums 🙂

Thank you for informing us about your situation.

I can absolutely relate to your situation and it is completely normal to be feeling the way you feel. I am a provisional social worker and am completing my final few hours of mandatory field placement. When I have had a few predicaments arise I have found that keeping a journal and reflection is important for my own self-care. I also debrief with my manager and fellow co-workers. I think it may also be a good idea if your anxiety persists to see a professional for some help and techniques to cope with what your going through.

Please feel free to post as much or as little as you want and we are here for you mate.

All the best.

Baet123

[BigRed23]

First off, thanks for the response.

Secondly the issue that first occurred was 8-9 years ago and I was able to deal with that one well with the support of family, friends and my employer at the time.

I make sure that for the majority of the time my mental health is in a good state. If I feel stressed or anxious I try and remedy those thoughts as best I can. My go to is playing video games and immersing myself in those.

I just feel that this guy is playing with my mind and I hate it. I should not have to feel this way at all.

I have a good support network in place to deal with this issue. One of the reasons by posting this on here was to see what tips and tricks that people have to deal with social issues. The ones that I have received so far have helped.

I know that I can get through this and I just need to keep foucssing on what I need to do. I also know that this is hard and my brain wants to keep messing with me.

Thanks for the message, it meant a lot.

[BigRed23]

Thanks for the message, it means a lot.

I am hopeful that some good can come out of this and make me feel like me.

I have been to professional help before and I am trying to remember the techniques that they told me. As you can imagine my mind doesn’t want to go there at this point in time. (Damn mind)

I also have a wonderful wife who supports me considering her own mental health issues that she is going through as well.

I wish that this person would have the common decency to apologise for what he has done but I know that he won’t care. Why should he in his mind, he hasn’t done anything wrong! It would certainly help my mind go back to a better place.

Thanks once again.

[baet123]

Hey BigRed23,

I too immerse myself in video games, music and golf. They take me away from all the issues I is a great way to maintain good self-care. It is also great that you have such a supportive wife. She sounds extremely selfless and a lovely soul and a definite keeper!

As you mentioned, it would be nice for the person to apologise however we all have different values and morals and have differing opinions on what actions are considered right and wrong.

As for techniques to improve your current mental state you probably already do this but try to maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep (although this might be difficult for you at the moment given everything that you are experiencing), avoid caffeine and artificial sources of sugar, play games, listen to your favorite songs, exercise and socialise. I know that many of the above you may not be interested in at the moment but they are some things that help me maintain self-care.

Please keep us posted mate.

All the best mate and have a great week.