is it true or just my anxiety talking?

[Guest_294]

hi all,

im just feeling very upset right now and i needed to talk to someone. i was pretty upset about a mark i received and i messaged my friend, who has come back with a fairly reasonable, but also rather cold response. she is always so supportive and caring and im worried ive said something wrong because now she wont respond to my messages.

i feel like this is just my anxiety talking but it feels like shes really angry with me and i dont know how to react now

feeling super stressy,

A

[Guest_294]

update: it was my anxiety - she wasn't angry, she just hadn't seen the messages. how do you deal with intrusive thoughts like that? im a people pleaser so whenever I feel like ive upset someone it is peak anxiety levels and I just dont know how to respond when my brain is telling me I messed up and someone is angry with me. any thoughts?

[JessF]

Hello A, if I were you I would put a bookmark on this thread and come back to it whenever you are feeling like this. Your two posts here are a great example of your anxiety talking, versus the reality. The trick is to formulate those alternative answers from your second post at the same time you are feeling anxious.

Using the example from your second post above, if you were to have this happen again, what if you were to try writing down the alternative explanations for why something has or hasn't happened?

If you practice this every time, you will find you get better at it. When you feel anxiety rising, tell yourself stop: what are the alternative explanations?

[ChadC2018]

Hi A,

I'm also a people pleaser as well. And it can sometimes be a curse because you tend to want to look after others more than you want to look after yourself. And when someone wasn't feeling well, and wasn't talking to me, I was quite offended by it. Simply because I let my Anxiety, and negative thoughts get to me. I personally don't blame them, nor do I hate them for it. I just let my Anxiety get to me. And I'm still paying the price for that today.

The best thing to do is tell yourself "The person I need to help right now is myself".

Everything is going to be okay.

[Guest_294]

Thanks both for the responses. JessF that’s really great advice - it happens so often that I’ll look at a situation in a panic and there is a reasonable solution/explanation but im just completely unable to see it. I will definitely keep this thread around and maybe it will help the next time something like this happens.

ChadCooper2018, it is nice to know I’m not the only one! I completely agree with that, I don’t blame them - they’ve done nothing wrong - it’s just my brain yelling at me telling me I’ve done something wrong. And more often than not that isn’t true either. I think I definitely need to start being kinder to myself...my friends are constantly telling me that - maybe I should try listening!

Thank you both again for the advice and the support.

A