Childhood fears. Is it just me? Desperate to reach out.

[mirnz]

Hi there, i am here to find anybody with the same fears as me. My anxiety/OCD is very specific. It is based on childhood fears. I am ashamed but I need to say this....  I am 25 and my OCD and anxiety is so severe and it's of all the monsters and scary movies I have come across. I don't sleep or so anything really without extreme anxiety of things I saw over ten years ago. I get obsessive thoughts of any scary movie character and I am desperately looking for anyone who is the same? I've seen phobias and anxiety towards tangible things but never came across someone like me. I am reaching out with all my heart to try and find someone. I have posted a different thread about the battle of pure o and anxiety but want to open up about this deeper side of it. Horror movies and topics are on my mind non stop since as long as I can remember stopping me from showering properly and sleeping properly and even moving!  I have not known anything different and I feel very alone as I don't know anyone with anxiety based in this. I feel ashamed and embarrassed yet I need to reach out and see if I'm not alone. And if I'm not I want the other person and I to help each other and support each other.  I hope I can find someone to help and help myself get by.

[JessF]

Hello mirnz, I have not had OCD but I do have diagnosed anxiety. I am actually a lover of scary movies now but when I was younger there were certain ones where even seeing the box in the video store would upset me.

One thing I have found has helped, inadvertently, is through me being interested in how the movies are made. Once you have read a few articles or seen a few behind the scenes pictures with the actors laughing, or the monster sitting having a cigarette in the breaks between filming with his rubber head sitting next to him, it helps remind you that it is all pretend.

I think one of the reasons scary movies are so popular is because some anxiety is good for you, it gives you a thrill rush like going on ar ollercoaster. Unfortunately for some of us, after the initial scare, our anxiety switch remains on in our brains.

Another technique I have heard of that gets used for phobias or trauma, and would probably work veryw ell for scary movies and monsters too is, seeing the scary picture in your mind, and then gradually taking control of it. After imagining it, the second step is to imagine seeing it on a tv screen. Then you imagine turning down the colour on the tv. Then you slowly start to imagine pushing the tv away further in your mind.

It's a way of densensitising yourself to specific triggers.

[TheSteve]

Hi mirnz,

Thanks for sharing. I love JessF's advice, everything she says is spot-on. The images on the screen, like any and all images we see in our day to day lives, create an impression and an association. We may associate a flower with happiness; a river with calmness; and of course a monster from a scary movie with fear. Stimulus --> Association --> Feelings. A pretty simple chain of events.

We can consciously change the way we feel when associating over time, by becoming aware of the reality behind the images (as JessF said). Facing our fears is very important, ultimately you can learn to laugh at the vampire, howl at the werewolf, or pretend to wrestle and beat up that intruder coming through your bathroom window! Our imagination is an amazing thing, but it is just that, imagination. The feelings make it seem real, but it is not real and we can re-learn and re-calibrate our feelings.

If I were you I'd do a few sessions with a behavioural therapist to learn some coping and retraining techniques. This is time and money well spent. Also, mindfulness of your feelings and walking yourself through the reality of the images and associations tends to work very well. Just monitor your fear, and you'll ultimately see that it is temporary and "you" are not "it".

All the best.

Steve