Hi. It took me several days to strike up the courage to sign up and post
something here and now, today, twice I have typed something then bumped
a key that shut everything down and I lost my posts!I am an (almost) 54
year old male. Married with a 21 ...
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Hi. It took me several days to strike up the courage to sign up and post
something here and now, today, twice I have typed something then bumped
a key that shut everything down and I lost my posts!I am an (almost) 54
year old male. Married with a 21 year old son. I don't think I have
depression but maybe I have mild anxiety? Although I sometimes worry
about things and lose sleep, my main issue is that I sometimes get
flustered in pressure situations, causing me to rush around (in an
embarrassing "tanty"), sometimes throwing things in anger and I just end
up upsetting people. I believe I have been managing this quite well at
home lately and in social situations but it has happened twice at work
in recent months and the boss is not happy.Around 2 and a half years
ago, I took voluntary redundancy from a large government owned
corporation after nearly 24 years with them. The redundancy package was
pretty good but I struggled to find similar work for decent pay (I was
prepared for a modest drop in salary) and so I am not really realising
the financial benefits of using the package to pay off the mortgage etc.
- although we are not down and out by any means. I ended up working at a
hardware store for around 50% less p.a. but just over a year ago, I was
asked to work for a former colleague in his licensed (sort of
franchised) outlet of the same organisation that we had both worked for.
Not much better pay, but less weekend work and I liked the idea of the
challenge of setting up a new store. In hindsight, financially, I
probably made the wrong decision to take the redundancy, although I
think I was stuck in a rut where I was and it was time to leave.So, the
other day, the boss had rostered himself on to cover a position in the
store. It was quiet but I knew it wouldn't be for long. He decided to go
somewhere for half an hour, was gone for over 2, the queue was out the
door, , I was busting to take a leak but we couldn't leave only one on
duty, there was only two of us to serve, the other guy is new and slow,
so I worked the only way I know how - FAST! I just turn the customers
over as quick as I can, still greeting them with a smile, a "How are
you?", a "thank you, have a good day?" and then calling "next please!".
But throw in a difficult customer, when you're down a third of your
staff, no room to move safely without tripping over things, I begin to
feel like I am carrying everything and I start to lose it.I don't
believe I was rude to this customer but apparently I upset her and she
complained. I acknowledge that I was probably flustered and a door may
have been slammed a couple of times in my haste. Anyway, the boss spoke
to me about it and I am disappointed that he jumped to conclusions and
was not willing to listen to my side. I have been moved to another
office - it's busier but they have more staff, so I feel there is less
pressure as the work is shared around better. I will probably not last
long though as I don't like being like that and don't feel I can work
for him anymore. I am looking at going back to the hardware store (I'm
still on the books as a casual) and am having a coffee with my old boss
there this afternoon. However, I still hope to find another admin job
where I can work on my own like before.I worry that I will struggle to
find a decent job that I can handle. I don't have a degree and just
worked my way up through my field before, basically without even having
to apply for jobs - managers just asked for me. This has got me worried
that I may not have enough for retirement and providing for my family
and I sometimes lose sleep over it. I don't really think I suffer from
depression as I have plenty of laughs (I make bad jokes!). I certainly
would never commit suicide but I sometimes think that if I died, at
least my super would provide for my wife and son and they could pay the
house off and then some!Do I have anxiety? I don't seem to tick all the
check boxes in the checklist... I certainly don't feel anxious or
nervous like I used to as a teenager and young adult. I'm much more
confident with who I am now. I can now talk in front of people if I know
my subject. I still avoid awkward or confronting situations if I can,
though - I will put off making phone calls if at all possible. I'd
rather send an email or write a paper then make a phone call or confront
someone face to face!I was definitely anxious at the dentist the other
day when I had a tooth pulled though! Most traumatic experience ever!
She told me afterwards that I could have had happy gas! I will keep that
in mind for the root canal work!Anyway, what do you think? Do I have a
problem?
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