one step forward 2 steps back

[dorothy]

Finally for the first time yesterday I see glimmers of my old self and was feeling hopeful, then today back feeling anxious and panic and so depressed. Today I also had so much negative thoughts running through my head constantly going around and around it took all my strength to get up this morning.

I forced myself to go for a drive to the toy shop to buy my grandson a birthday present feeling a bit spaced out and anxious I managed. What is happening to me? Why can't I pull myself out of this? what is going to happen?

I can only see me losing my job, which means losing  the house. My family don't deserve this or have any idea what's going on with me. I did talk to my daughter only telling her some of it because it should not be her worrying about me

[Chloekat84]

Hello Dorothy. Sorry to hear ur doing it soo tough atm. Its a bit like me today im feeling like my old self again and i dont want to go down that slope again. Its a horrible place to be. Dont feel bad. Are u on new medication cos it can take a little while to work if thats the case or have u got a regular GP that u see about ur concerns? I do think u need to confide in a professional. If you havent theres a link on here that says "get support" and u can find a doctor who can help u. Best of luck x

[Chloekat84]

would be good if sum1 would respond to my posts occasionally 

[dorothy]

Sorry Chloekat84 you feel like that I'm new here and just checked my post thank you for replying. To answer your question yes I have just started medication and am praying it will soon kick in as Tuesday is my dead line to get back to work. I spoke to my husband this morning for the first time about how I am feeling he said he knew something was wrong but didn't realise how bad I was feeling but thru truth is some how some way I have to pull myself together this anxiety is crippling I have never felt so bad I just feel paralysed

Thank you again for your reply it does feel a little easier knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this

Dorothy

[Chloekat84]

Thanx for replying dorothy. I didnt mean to sound too forward about replies i just find find not many people have been replying to my posts lately and im not sure why. Im trying to be helpful i duno i guess people are busy. I really hope ur medication kicks in soon and makes u feel better. Mine has and i feel a lot better than what i did this time last week. I think ive found the right medication and dosage finally well i hope so as i dont want to go downhill as i need to wait 2 monthes to see a psychiatrist. Really hope ur better by tuesday. Well wishes x

[Kell2014]

Hi Dorothy, I hope your medication is starting to assist with giving you back some capacity to work through these challenging times. I read your post and understand your feelings all too well! It so easy to get yourself running down into the 'what if' scenarios only to find yourself in a hole that seems too deep. But I promise these times are temporary! I am 6 months off of medication after a life altering stint of anxiety 18 months ago. I still have my up and down days. Today I'm incredibly overwhelmed hence finding myself on a beyond blue forum. Its so important we all know that we are not alone. This is only temporary. Its easy to feel alone and like a burden on our loved ones but know that when these bad times pass the good times feel all that much better. Give the medication some time to work and try to be patient with yourself in the meantime. Feel better!

[dorothy]

Hi everyone, I did it I went back to work nerves and all and survived. Medication is kicking in thank god I was really in a bad way and a bad place. Still anxious but I have been ok it's only been stay 2 weeks with the meds so hopefully I will improve (sooner rather than later). Still not sleeping and can't wait for that to improve, seeing flickers of my old self. I hope everyone is doing fine and thank you for your support

Dorothy

[Chloekat84]

Thats good to hear that your feeling a bit better Dorothy. Keep up with the meds they will keep making u feel better and will help more than u realise soon enough. With the the sleep issues ive been having trouble sleeping as well. If you can sleep just get up hae a warm drink or hot shower or read  and by the time uve done that u should be tired again and ready for more shut eye. glad to hear things r slowly starting to improve for you. Take care x