Anxiety & neighbours

[Guest_2659]

Hi,

i have just joined to post here as I have an extremely frustrating issue contributing to my anxiety - my neighbours!

I am in a block of units, where I have people to the sides, front, back etc. This is not the issue.

the ones immediately over the front spend their days with the neighbours over the back. I mean, all day every day, no matter how often/what times I go out, both lots are there when I leave and when I get back. I live alone, meaning there is about 6-8 of them, 1 of me. Unfortunately they do not appear to have hobbies, interests etc to fill their time, and since realising about 2 months ago (Been here nearly 6 months) that I am actually their source of entertainment and gossip, everyday, it has sent my anxiety skyrocketing. I have been waking up earlier & earlier to have some time to myself!!!!

I keep busy, and have hobbies, but these have not been able to distract me from how obsessed my neighbours are with me. I am moving in 1 month due to my neighbours but I am struggling with my stress & anxiety levels. It is so bad here, when I recently had visitors call in, one of them said they could hear the neighbours laughing about them - while they were on the toilet!!! That's what it's like for me but all day every day! The feeling of being bullied as an adult, in my home, feeling like a victim is awful. Every time I watch tv, use the toilet, the microwave etc, come back from the shops, it's like a constant stream of nasty commentary.

I feel like this month is never going to end! I have tried: keeping my headphones on, meditating, using mantras, mindfulness, even tried hypnosis... I tell myself they are immature, or their behaviours are a reflection of themselves, or that they are wasting their life by being so fixated with me.

Does anyone have suggestions as to how to cope for this last month? Have you ever had neighbours that caused or contributed to your anxiety? How did you cope? It feels like your privacy and dignity have been invaded & you can't relax!

[Quercus]

Hi Anonymous101,

Welcome to the forums. What a bloody horrible situation to have experienced! I am so glad to hear you are escaping that toxic environment soon!

I'm not sure of this is going to sound flippant but have you considered having a bit of fun at your neighbour's expense?

If they are petty and cruel and nasty enough to monitor and intimidate you constantly would it really be so wrong to give them something to bitch and gossip about? Nothing mean or disruptive. Just you having a bit of fun. Would that increase your anxiety?

I once had a neighbour who hated me on principle because my husband had had an argument with him at some point long before I even moved in. I felt uncomfortable because he and his wife would glare at me in the garden. So I took to being cheerful. Always greeted them. Waved. Smiled. It drove them up the wall and made me feel a lot more comfortable.

They're made you uncomfortable for so long. Think of things that might make them uncomfortable or laugh or awkward and go for it.

Feel free to tell me my suggestion is useless. I just feel for you and care and think they are being complete knobs.

Please take care of yourself and if you need to talk or vent we are here for you.

Nat

[geoff]

Hi Anonymous101, not a pleasant situation to be in, but the more you worry about it the more it will become.

Have you thought about taking some beverages over and knocking on the door just to surprise them.

This may, in fact, may stop them talking about you, it's not that you have to stay with them, alternatively, can you leave the unit and do some charity work this maybe able to distract you from worrying about what they are saying. Geoff.