Anxiety caused by Guilt

[Michael_Br]

Hi everyone this is my first time posting on this forum. I've had on and off bouts of anxiety as a result of a poor decision I made regarding a friend and their ex-partner. They had been broken up for several months and it just happened and they both have new partners etc. I haven't seen my friend for about 6 months and am incredibly worried that they will never speak to me again after what happened. I'm not speaking to the ex and am also seeing someone myself but am just worried as I'll likely be seeing them over summer etc and don't know whether to tell them i'm terribly sorry for what I did and it was a stupid mistake at a party. My anxiety is nothing major but every time I see my friend in my social media feeds etc it comes back and I'm scared of going out to places where our social groups might mix. Has anyone been through this situation and should I just come out and tell the truth despite me and the girl swearing not to tell anyone? I'm scared she has told all her friends too.

Thanks for any help

[MidnightOil]

Hi Michael_Br,

Welcome to the forum and I hope that you can find some good information and helpful advice. Obviously it's difficult to say as an outsider to the situation, but personally, I think that apologising to a person that you may have hurt is the best first course of action - although it can be the most difficult. You seem to be truly regretful and willing to take responsibility and it also gives them an opportunity to tell you about their feelings and thoughts on the situation. This will hopefully give you both an opportunity to process and could give you some closure to calm some of your anxiety.

Again, you will know a lot more about the details of the situation and the people involved than I do, but I hope you find a resolution and it all turns out alright.

All the best

[Bellsie1]

hi,

I've been having anxiety attacks a lot because of something I did to someone who used to be my friend. we were in a fight recently and I guess it never blew over because recently I called her a really bad name and I can't stop worrying that she is going to get me expelled or do something to get back at me. what do I do?

[MidnightOil]

Hey Bellsie1,

I'm sorry that this is causing you so much stress and I guess my advice from my previous post still stands. Although I obviously don't know about your particular situation and I can't exactly tell you what is best for you, I can only say that in my experience, being honest is usually best. Hopefully she will be willing to have a mature discussion with you once you make an effort to fix the situation. Whether you'd like to be friends again or not is obviously a decision for you both to make, but either way, if you feel like you did something wrong or hurt her then apologising could be good for you both. If you're worried about the discussion, you could think of some things you'd like to say before you approach her.

I hope it works out alright and feel free to come back and let us know how you're going.

All the best

[cakeboss]

I to have had some major anxiety going on about a decision i made that someone close asked me to do .I know i cant do this what the person has asked .im a kind person with a big heart and i guess its eating away at me cause thats what i do with my anxiety .im trying to distract myself and stay in the moment and not thing about the what if they never talk to me again or setting off a rollorcoaster of anxiety for me .i see specialists already .it comes and goes in waves .i know how you feel the panic attacks set in and over thinking .ive made my decision and i have to stay in the moment dont look to far ahead about whats going to happen .i hope it gets sorted out for you always tough suffering anxiety panic disorder and having to make decisions that cause conflict isnt it