Anxiety Burnout and Depression Episode Going on 1 year Now

[Mamatus]

Hi All,

doing it tough. Run a creative business and have been  high functioning all my life. Last year work started drying up and with mortgage pressure and business pressure I went into full fear mode and am now thoroughly burnt out. Not high functioning anymore although coping on the work front when I need to. Cant socialise, seeing a psychiatrist, had a tough time getting on an off various meds. The hardest thing is it just feels like it's never going to end. I keep reading/hearing things get better and you'll grow from all this but Im just feeling stuck and overwhelmed.

[Croix]

Dear Mamatus~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum, I'm glad you came as you sound very down and in a difficult position. OK you may not find the business improves, who knows, but overall things can get better, as I found out (Yes that can seem hard to believe at the moment and not happen as you expect).

Unfortunately the business scene goes up and down, and when debts start to pile up it can be hard to realise it may be circumstances, and nothing you have done that has brought this about. Keeping on trying - as you are doing - can be very discouraging if things don't get better despite your best efforts. 

My best efforts simply made me ill, no matter how hard I tried I accomplished less and less until I could go no further.

You have taken action about your mental state and are  seeing a psychiatrist, a good move that may well help you cope and see there are other things in the world apart from your business. It has certainly made a whole lot of difference to me about my job.

Have you taken similar efforts ot obtain help with your best business and debt strategy? If not can I suggest free financial counseling and planing at:

https://moneysmart.gov.au/managing-debt/financial-counselling

 They are well informed, experienced and help you fine someone near you.

On the personal side do you have a family member or friend who can give you support? They do not have to 'fix' anything, just listen, talk and care.

If you would like to keep on talking that would be great.

Croix

[Daydreamer70]

Hi Mamatus,

Thank you for writing in. You have definietly been through a tough time from what you have explained. Your system was likely in overdrive for a long time and its taking a while to adjust. It sounds like you are doing all the ight things for yourself too which is a positive. I understand the feeling of helplessness, particually when you are in the thick of the hard time. It can be difficult to remind ourselves that things will improve when we feel we are at our lowest. This might sound like cliche advice and I don't know whether they are the right words to say, but these things take patience. Keep showing up for yourself in small ways, resting and taking care of yourself. You sound driven and ambitious, which are great qualities but its important to remember that you need balance in order to thrive and feel good. As an ambitious and driven person myself, I sometimes have to remind myself to slow down and be patient. Keep coming to these forums for support if you feel the help you, I know they help me. 

All the best and kindest regards, 

Daydreamer. 

[Mamatus]

Thanks Daydreamer and Croix for the replies. It feels good to hear from people who have been through a similar situation. Im still very much in the thick of it and trying to stabilise. None of your words are cliche - the response itself is very reassuring. Starting to see the roots of the problem in therapy but the anxiety is powerful and daily. Writing here definitely helps.

[Croix]

Dear Mamatus (wiht a wavy=e to Daydreamer)~

I'm glad being here helps, as least somewhat.  As somone with anxiety as well as other mental health issues I realise how all enveloping it can be, making for sleepless nights and for the mind to go round an endless chain of unhappy and hopeless thoughts.

It also in my case warped my judgment as I believed many things were more important than they realy were and would end in disaster. It took someone else to point out I was mistaken each time.

To stop that endless loop of worry I came to use a free smartphone app, Smiling Mind. This takes practice at the start (yes I mean that) but found it would break that loop and leave me calmer.

I'd then be in a position to do something distracting (in my case reading). Smiling Mind has an enormous number of exercises, enough to suit anybody. I have the attention span of a goldfish but found exercises that gently reminded often enough me not to let my mind wander while concentrating on the mindfulness scenarios they provided.

That together with the correct medication and psychiatric therapy (finding the correct medications was not easy) I am now in a much better state than before, and anxiety no longer rules my life.

By all means come back whenever you would like to, you will be welcomed

Croix

[therising]

Hi Mamatus

My heart goes out to you as you face one of the most challenging times in your life, if not the most challenging.

I think sometimes we can be so incredibly hard on ourself until we hit on a whole number of revelations that help explain why we're struggling or suffering so much. Then it becomes a matter of 'No wonder I'm struggling. It all makes complete sense'.

Tipping points can come in a variety of forms. There can be a physical tipping point, like that which is found with General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). When what starts as stress turns into complete and utter exhaustion, with the 3 stages of GAS there's definitely a tipping point stage where the full impact of ongoing stress can be felt. Maybe something worth researching. A mental tipping point can come from a stack of different angles. While our inner stresser can be handy in some cases, when it ramps up to become a constant in our head, that's a whole other story. When the amount of mental energy required to constantly solve problems starts to turn into mental hyperactivity, there's only so much hyperactivity we can handle without it becoming anxiety inducing. Even in a soulful sense, there can be a tipping point between not thinking too deeply about life and contemplating a whole stack of soulful or philosophical type questions. 'Why am I suffering? What is this about? What am I meant to be learning from this experience?' etc. So, challenges from many angles. Tipping points from many angles. No wonder life can feel so overwhelming at times. 

I've found the 'things get better and you'll grow from all this' factor is highly conditional. I think figuring out what we can't develop without is definitely key. Sometimes we can't develop/evolve/grow without insight, much needed revelations, whatever is going to best serve our physical body, guides, visionaries, solid goals to reach, an action plan, a new perspective and the list goes on. I could be wrong but with you running a creative business, I'm imagining you're a creative type who has a history of being somewhat of a visionary. For visionaries or seers, sometimes it can be a matter of 'I can't see the say forward' or 'I can only see the worst case scenarios'. At times it can be like 'What's happened to me? I've gone 'blind!'. I've found this to be a temporary thing during times of great challenge. Sometimes it's a matter of finding someone who can see for us during such times. While Croix leads you to see financial guidance as a part of the way ahead, Daydreamer70 offers the vision of returning to the forums whenever you feel the need. They both offer a number of options or paths for you to see or imagine. Guides can make a massive difference when we're feeling so incredibly lost, without a solid sense of direction. They can be those who shed much needed light on incredibly dark parts of our life path. There are parts of our path where we're not meant to travel alone.