Anxiety and Health Anxiety

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post here!

Mental Health never crossed my mind until something happened to me 2 months ago. I’m a 25yearold Mother of one. Early February I suffered from an UNEXPECTED anxiety/panic attack. I didn’t know what was happening and neither did my family so I ended up in the ER. Tests came back all clear but left me questioning “why did this Happen?”, How can this just happen out of no where?” “ what if i am really sick and they can’t seem to find it?”

I have seen 10 doctors from 5 different Medical Centres, multiple blood tests, urine tests .
Brain MRI, Spine MRI, Chest XRay, pelvic ultrasound, thyroid/neck ultrasound, stomach ultrasound. All clear. Found a 2cm cyst on ovary which I have had for a while. My biggest fear is cancer. My sisters husband past away last year from cancer and since then I guess it’s always been in the back of my mind. My panic attack was what triggered “health anxiety”.

2 Weeks ago I requested a blood test and urine just for a reassurance as that week I believed I had throat cancer. Results came back with high cortisol and inflammatory marker. Also pus in the urine. I ended up showing the results to another doctor who told me cortisol testing should be tested early morning . Did a retest and came back all normal. Except for my urine . Cloudy Urine, with pus and GROUP B STREP bacteria.

The doctor keeps reassuring me it’s just a UTI. But I have not one single symptom of a UTI. I’ve finished my antibiotics and still cloudy urine. No smell just cloudy with white particles floating around. I’m so scared. I think the worst . I’m losing sleep. Has anyone had this before ?

From February until now I have already self diagnosed myself with

throat cancer, spine tumor, lung cancer, colon cancer, bowel cancer, thyroid cancer, now I’m thinking it’s ovarian cancer or bladder cancer. I have never been like this before . I’m having lower belly cramps/pressure and lower back pressure. Not sure if it’s just me overthinking. I even have dreams about it. I already see my psych. I no longer have attacks but constant worry, obsessive thoughts, fear.

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hearing about someone dying from an illness is what triggers me. But when I had my first panic attack I didn’t know what triggered it ? I Had a rough past and I think I just kept sweeping things under the rug telling myself I’m ok. And then one day out of no where I felt like I was literally dying.

since I felt I was dying I’ve had the fear of it, and I’ve been searching to find out what’s wrong with me.

My urine tested for GROUP B STREP bacteria. Doctor says it’s a UTI. Never had any Symptoms so I find it hard to believe. I even have this App on my phone that I can FaceTime a doctor anywhere in Australia. Over 10 doctors say I’m fine.

today I went to see my doctor to retest my urine. I’ve noticed my urine is slightly bubbly, and sinks to the bottom of the toilet bowl. I keep up with fluids and I’m eating fine. Not losing any weight.

still get strange stomach pains/aches or pinches. I don’t even know how to explain it. It just feels like a baby is in there putting pressure in my tummy. Then it goes and comes back.

lower back feels a little better but comes and goes also.

I don’t think I have been tested for PCOS. Unless I have but don’t remember. When I removed my cyst back in 2016 I never got a medical report to actually Confirm wether it was a cyst or not. So Ofcourse I called the hospital today to get some info. They couldn’t give me anything over the phone so I had the doctor fax a request to them.

im so nervous waiting for both urine test and Old Medical Report

I feel so sad all the time .

[Lakeside19]

Your past traumas can definitely cause anxiety & it may not always be recognisable that that is the cause so it’s very possible that it could have brought on your anxiety. Is this whole coronavirus and them constantly reporting death tolls etc. triggering you very badly or are you able to distance yourself from that a little? Do you have support around you at the moment?

I didn’t know much about group B strep but have been having a little read about it and from what I can gather it’s very common for adults to have the bacteria in their digestive tract or genital areas And can come and go or be there all the time without any infections or symptoms. So if all other tests have come back good then it’s most likely nothing at all to worry about. I’m well aware that’s much easier said than done though. Only suggestion I’d have is to let your drs know about it if you were to fall pregnant.

could the bubbly urine be just due to forceful urinating because of your bladder being quite full etc?

waiting for test results truly is the worst. I had so many tests last year while I was sick & the waiting pretty much crippled me. I wish I had some trick to make it easier but I just had to do the best I could day by day. Try to take comfort that if they had detected anything sinister when they removed the cyst they would have been obliged to inform you or your doctor. The fact that you didn’t hear anything more than likely indicates it was what they thought was. Also if it was something more than surely you would have had many more symptoms of it by now

[Miss_Anxiety]

No surprisingly Corona Virus or anything related to that has not heightened my anxiety.

im slowly understanding that before my panic attacks I was always a person that always thought the worst case scenario. Growing up in a strict family not meeting much people allowed me to become distant. Just the thought of engaging in conversation (when I was younger) would make me have the runs or butterfly feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t even speak to the McDonald’s Cashier to order my own food. Eventually I snapped out of that but still had a very weak personality. Dealt with workplace bullying at 18.

would cry over the smallest thing said to me, not knowing how to fend for myself. Then meeting a guy who I fell madly in love with turn so sour so quickly and out of the blue really ?

I did get urine test results back ! All clear . No blood, protein, no infection or crystals (don’t even know what that is) . Bubbles still remained only until last night they vanished after I drank a bottle of Powerade ? Like seriously! I’ve been sculling down water for ages now. And stopped when I drank Powerade !!

I also managed to find my medical report from the cyst that was removed. CONFIRMED IT WAS ONLY A DERMOID CYST.

I feel very anxious today, easily startled, a million thoughts in my head !!! I woke up last night in a sweat with a racing heart from a horrible nightmare.

is it normal that I have good days and then it hits me all over again. Like I’m sitting heard waiting for my anxiety attack to happen from how much it’s built up from last night until now .

[CalmCat]

Hi Miss Anxiety,

Sorry to hear that you haven't had a great day.

Don't worry I hear you, I also get worst case scenario syndrome.

When it happens I just breathe and try to do something to distrat myself.

Really hope the end out your week gets better.

Regards,

Doz

[Miss_Anxiety]

Thankyou for your kind words Doz86,

is it normal that I feel like I have a few types of anxiety?

after my panic attack I believed I was dying or it was a sign that I am going to. So it turned into always checking myself to see if I have an underlying disease somewhere.

Then when I didn’t really have anything else to check I got over it. And just literally fear I’m going to die somewhere and no one is going to find me, or just being away from my daughter etc .

I begin to plan out what’s going to happen in my future even though I had no clue ! My anxiety bounces from health anxiety to death anxiety.

Is this normal

[Miss_Anxiety]

Guys I wake up almost every single day feeling so anxious and making scenarios in my head and believing that they are going to happen.

does anyone else wake up and feel so sure that their going to die . I do this every single day.

when I drive I drive at a speed of 50-60 and gripping the steering wheels so hard to not lose control.

Is it just me ??

i really need someone to talk to

[Lakeside19]

So glad that your results came back normal. That’s great news! Take a moment to let yourself feel some relief over that. I know for me it usually only lasts a second before the brain goes into overdrive again. But take a few minutes out, do some deep breathing and tell your brain these results over a few times. Try to sit in that relief and those FACTS. This is what’s real.

I’ve come to learn that there’s no such thing as normal. Even those who don’t suffer anxiety or depression will have their own struggles. Trying to be “normal” will drive you crazy. We all have our own issues and it effects us all differently.

For me I have generalised anxiety, social anxiety & health anxiety. It definitely changes day to day as to how severe it is. Some days I will be motivated, others I just want to curl up in bed. Some days I have major anxiety over making a simple phone call, others I can make multiple calls without any problem. & often there will be no trigger. Some days I can be in a perfectly good mood having fun doing something and will suddenly be hit with a wave of that dread feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I think that’s where it gets to me the most when I least expect it. I liken it sometimes to an inner monster that wants as much control over our brain as possible. What I’m currently working on is being able to tell myself that it’s not something real that I’m fearing but rather the anxiety that wants to have power over me. I can’t say I’m succeeding at the moment but I’m hoping the more I tell myself the easier it will get.

In terms of waking up feeling like you’re going to die & the driving thing, that sounds really tough. I have had flashes where I’ve thought about how at any point while driving something bad could happen but it’s more just a few seconds and not very often. It must be hard to be on edge driving anywhere. Do you think this is something maybe therapy could help you with? It must be affecting your daily life greatly.

You mentioned you have a daughter. One thing I have noticed is after having my son my health anxiety really ramped up. It’s like before it was a fear but not something that necessarily took over. Now because there’s that whole added factor of what would happen to my son if I got sick and the fear of not being there to watch him grow up it’s next level. My psychologist told me this is very common with mothers.

I don’t know if any of this is helping you at all but I’m definitely here to listen if you need to get it out.

[Miss_Anxiety]

UPDATE

for some reason 2 days after I did my urine test that came back clear. I went to another medical centre to do another one . It came back with Microscopic Red Blood cells (20)

white blood cells (10) and trace of protein. I’m not sure how that’s even possible if I did a urine test just two days prior and it was all clear ????

i live 15mins away from the medical centre. The urine was in a warm car, and sat in direct sunlight for a few minutes. Not sure if that makes a difference.

although I repeated the test and it came back fine

still red blood cells but (2) and white blood cells (2) ?

I requested to see my tests that I’ve done years back dated 2015 and 2017 and they both had higher count on f red and white blood cells.

im not sure why my doctor didn’t tell me this.

im only 25 years old, never smoked, never drank, not on any medication. I’m really upset and concerned and think of the worst.

does anyone on here have their urine tests they can read out ? Maybe it would give me a peace of mind .....or not

[Gumtree77]

Hi Miss Anxiety (that was going to be my username but you'd already taken it!! :))

I can 100% sympathise with you. I have suffered from health anxiety for as long as I can remember. I just recently posted about my dramas. As per my recent post I had the best thing happen today...my Doctor was actually frustrated with me and because I like and respect him so much it was a light bulb moment. I have diagnosed myself with cancer of every description over the last year; but mostly throat or tongue. It is all due to hormone imbalances, anxiety itself and the side effects of various medications. But most of it is simply from my own brain. It is truly incredible how our minds can create pain and symptoms. He said to me "your tongue looks exactly like it did when I last checked you and you have since seen an oral surgeon and three other doctors who have all cleared you for cancer....can you not see that this flares up in you when you are stressed about other things?". I felt awful; I felt like a little girl who had been chastised. But.....I came home and wrote it all down and guess what...the burning and pain has already abated 50%!

I have been seeing doctors pretty much weekly since May last year. Had MRI, xrays, ultrasounds, full bloods etc etc. All clear. Yet when I get particularly anxious (as I have been since the covid issue) my symptoms come charging back like a freight train and then begins my spiralling thoughts..."Everything was clear x amount of days/weeks/months ago...but.....misdiagnoses do happen...and I am sure every medical professional knows I am a hypochondriac and that I am wasting their time..so perhaps they are just palming me off and there is something serious wrong and I will die with the headstone "I told you I was sick'! (Spike Milligan :))

I am positive that you are perfectly ok and healthy. I am also positive you are suffering from one of the worst things ever being Health Anxiety. Over the years with every disease/cancer I have self diagnosed my sub conscious mind was saying "it might even be better to be diagnosed so they can fix it'. Not sure if that makes sense but again..the spiralling out of control thoughts; the obsessive compulsive checking everything; the googling (which incidentally I am forbidden to do on Doctors orders)....all make for a bloody miserable existence. I so hope you get some comfort and relief from hearing from us others who suffer the same

xx

[imjustme]

Hi Miss Anxiety,

You sound exactly like me, I have bad health anxiety and as kn writing this I have the constant urge to wee, funny feeling in by body and lower back pain... i also had a urine test for a UTI last Friday and it came back negative, i still have the same feelings I am not sure what it is it what I should do about it!
For me it all stems from my Dad passing away suddenly in 2011 with an ischaemic bowel and then my mum passing away August last year from Endometrial Cancer which had spread very badly and quickly in her body.
I thought I was ok but im clearly not as its affecting my everyday life at the moment.
So I honestly know how you're feeling. X