Anxiety and Health Anxiety

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post here!

Mental Health never crossed my mind until something happened to me 2 months ago. I’m a 25yearold Mother of one. Early February I suffered from an UNEXPECTED anxiety/panic attack. I didn’t know what was happening and neither did my family so I ended up in the ER. Tests came back all clear but left me questioning “why did this Happen?”, How can this just happen out of no where?” “ what if i am really sick and they can’t seem to find it?”

I have seen 10 doctors from 5 different Medical Centres, multiple blood tests, urine tests .
Brain MRI, Spine MRI, Chest XRay, pelvic ultrasound, thyroid/neck ultrasound, stomach ultrasound. All clear. Found a 2cm cyst on ovary which I have had for a while. My biggest fear is cancer. My sisters husband past away last year from cancer and since then I guess it’s always been in the back of my mind. My panic attack was what triggered “health anxiety”.

2 Weeks ago I requested a blood test and urine just for a reassurance as that week I believed I had throat cancer. Results came back with high cortisol and inflammatory marker. Also pus in the urine. I ended up showing the results to another doctor who told me cortisol testing should be tested early morning . Did a retest and came back all normal. Except for my urine . Cloudy Urine, with pus and GROUP B STREP bacteria.

The doctor keeps reassuring me it’s just a UTI. But I have not one single symptom of a UTI. I’ve finished my antibiotics and still cloudy urine. No smell just cloudy with white particles floating around. I’m so scared. I think the worst . I’m losing sleep. Has anyone had this before ?

From February until now I have already self diagnosed myself with

throat cancer, spine tumor, lung cancer, colon cancer, bowel cancer, thyroid cancer, now I’m thinking it’s ovarian cancer or bladder cancer. I have never been like this before . I’m having lower belly cramps/pressure and lower back pressure. Not sure if it’s just me overthinking. I even have dreams about it. I already see my psych. I no longer have attacks but constant worry, obsessive thoughts, fear.

[Patrickj]

Hey Miss Anxiety,

Welcome to the group you never wanted to belong to. I, myself, deal with health anxiety. And, like you, I have focused on different areas of my body throughout my life. I've had more fingers in places than I care to admit. I've had it all, too, including ultrasounds, MRI's, countless blood-tests - all normal.

Since December, I've had terrible anxiety about my heart. So bad, in fact, that I caused - through stress - my heart to begin skipping beats. This, of course, made me stress more. So, I had bloods, EGC, a 24-hour monitor, and an ultrasound... which all came back clear. The only problem - I've got massive chest pains. I wake in the night with them. I stress about them. I am worried sick about them.

Oh, and I went on a 12km run today.

We battle the illogical side of us with the logical side. There are moments of complete clarity. Then those are overshadowed by fear.

For me, the ultimate fear is... probably like you... death. I don't want to die. And I don't want to suffer.

I currently use the app called Headspace. It's an investment (about $100 for the year), but it has some great programs about anxiety and meditation. It also has a VAST library devoted to helping you sleep. Nature sounds, gentle music, people reading you a boring story. It helps in those truly terrifying moments.

I also play the longevity game with myself. If the problem truly is something horrendous, then I'd be getting very, very sick. I usually wait a week, or a couple, and monitor my symptoms. If there is no change, then it's nothing. Or if it comes and goes, then it's nothing.

Anxiety is a very powerful thing. It can disrupt the very electricity in your body. It can make your heart skip beats. What I'm saying is this - anxiety is like an energy drink, heightening all your thoughts and feelings by 100.

Keep talking to people, keep sharing your stories. Invite your friends into your own thoughts and feelings. Help them understand you. My friend makes a consistent effort to make me run 12km. I hate him. But I love him too.

I hope this helps.

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hi there Patrickj,

Thankyou for your kind reply! Sometimes i have days where I will shrug it off as my brain creating symptoms. And I tell myself there’s nothing wrong with me as all my tests come back clear! Scans clear! ECG clear ! Then I question myself. How can anxiety actually do this? Am I really feeling these pains or is it my brain making my body feel them? Like I said the doctor thinks I have a UTI but I have not ONE SINGLE SYMPTOM and it’s scarring me. Atleast if I had the typical symptom of one I’d be more relaxed (I think). I hope I’m not the only one with this GROUP B STREP bacteria in my urine. Oh yes and I’m a googler . Google everything I feel. And it tells me cancer so Ofcourse I agree with it. Going for a doctors visit tomorrow even though I called them just today !

[Patrickj]

Hey Miss Anxiety,

Yup. You're identifying the classic thinking of people with health anxiety.

'But my symptoms are different.'

Towing this line almost makes us feel safe in justifying how we are feeling. Remember, your brain can make you think/do crazy things. Mine made my heart skip beats. Literally. It stuffed with my heart. So, by that reasoning, it could very well be doing things to the rest of your body. Flooding you with adrenaline, making your organs work harder.

Fight the good fight. I'm here with you.

[Miss_Anxiety]

Thankyou Patrickj.

thankyou for taking some time out of your day to reply to my post. It does make me feel better that I’m not the only one dealing with this. I thought I was going insane

[Lakeside19]

Hi Miss Anxiety

I have a few different anxiety disorders, one of which is health anxiety. Like you I have a habit of jumping to the big C when things aren’t how they should be.
Around 2 years ago I got quite sick & had to have a multitude of tests. I have some liver issues (was convinced it was liver cancer), lump in my throat, had some abnormalities in my legs on bone scan & mri (must have been bone cancer for sure), had random swelling in my chest (not sure what cancer I thought that was but it was something). Inflammation markers were elevated as were white blood cells.

To this day I still don’t have any definite answers as to what on earth it all was but I do know that everything returned to normal besides my liver & throat which I’m working to fix.

i guess my point is that our bodies can be weird sometimes and don’t always work the way google says they should. Don’t worry I’m a terrible googler too as hard as I try not to look.

I can’t help a lot with advice as I haven’t found anything that really helps a lot. You could try writing down all the evidence that it’s not cancer (results, all the drs etc.) & read over these facts when you’re feeling on edge. Try to focus on the point that these things are facts, supported by evidence whereas the fear that it’s something more is a what if controlled by an anxiety that feeds off you questioning everything. I find it easier having it in writing as something to focus on rather than just trying to convince myself in my head

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hi Lakeside19,

Thankyou so much for your tip. I will definitely be giving this a go. Aside from that I was asked to write my feelings in a journal along with how each day went for me. I found it very helpful but suddenly stopped writing. For some reason I forgot one day. One day turned into two, two to three , three to four. By the time I knew it I haven’t been writing for a good few weeks or so.

I still question how can my mind create or manifest all these feelings that I feel in my body? It’s just so crazy. I find myself always questioning . Always wondering and pondering . Growing up I was always a shy reserved person who wanted my own space. Never social ! And then boom into a marriage that failed horribly.

it’s like I tell myself ok when did this anxiety start? Did I always have it? Did it only just happen now? How come I’ve never had a panic attack before and how come it came so suddenly. Out of the blue !!! That’s the part that has made me now have health anxiety .

Trying to fight my thoughts. There’s just too many

[Goingmad]

Hello miss anxiety i have same problem thinking i have some sort of cancer when i get any sort of pain and i have been dealing with it for 20 years. It started 20 odd years ago when i had to tumors benign thank god since then have struggled with anxiety and depression. I get blood test every year and all come back ok but since i have phobia of doctors the one i cannot doe is bowel screening. I just try to manage through bad times and I'm 66

[Miss_Anxiety]

Hello Goingmad,

Thankyou for replying to my post. I can’t seem to stop. I’ve been ok for the past couple of days but today has been my worst. When I was 21 they found what they thought was a Dermoid Cyst on my left ovary which grew to 11cm big. Didn’t know I had it. I got it surgically removed (failed keyhole surgery so they cut me like a C-Section) . Last year a 1-2cm sized cyst was found on my right ovary. Also didn’t know I had it. Ultrasound imaging report says it’s “probably” a dermoid cyst.

I’m 25now . last week I started to fell fullness in my stomach and lower back pain. As I’m writing this I literally can’t keep still. I keep fidgeting I feel nervous. I’ve been googling ovarian cancer and I’ve got all the symptoms. I feel strange sensations in my body. Sometimes I feel dizzy but I don’t know if it’s my body just freaking out and making it happening .

im scared . I can’t smile anymore. Nothing makes me smile anymore. I feel like this is it for me.

yes blood test is all ok I keep telling myself that. But it doesn’t seem to work for me . The second I feel anything I feel like it lingers like it’s haunting me.

[Lakeside19]

I know that feeling very well. I often stop doing something and then once you stop for a short time it just seems to go on and I find it hard to get started again.

It is hard to believe that anxiety can affect your body in such a huge way. Have you been able to identify any possible triggers for your anxiety? I’m not sure if I’ve ever had panic attacks as such. I get a very uneasy sick feeling deep in my stomach and feel a bit like everything is closing in on me & I can’t cope. It’s not the typical heart racing, sweaty hands type thing so not sure if it’s classed as an attack. But like you I have always been a reserved person and not social.

In regards to the cysts and pain have you ever been tested for pcos? I was diagnosed about 6 years ago after being told different things by doctors pretty much since hitting puberty. It hasn’t completely stopped the pain but being on medications has helped greatly. If you think you might have symptoms it’s worth checking it out. Anxiety and depression are also 2 big risk factors of pcos due to hormone imbalances.