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Anxiety

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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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bluenight Workplace anxiety is really bad for me at the moment
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, My anxiety has been so bad since I started a new job not long ago, I've always had bad workplace anxiety, low confidence and lack of assertiveness The job is killing me, it's overflowing into and eroding my confidence, self esteem and so... View more

Hi everyone, My anxiety has been so bad since I started a new job not long ago, I've always had bad workplace anxiety, low confidence and lack of assertiveness The job is killing me, it's overflowing into and eroding my confidence, self esteem and social anxiety in my personal life. There's a lot of talking to people and I struggle with that at the best of times and there's a lot of responsibility. I started drinking a week and a half ago and I don't drink that often nowadays. I know there's not much anyone can do really but just wanted to vent with other people who suffer the same thing.

Bulletin_Board_Archive Cancer phobia
  • replies: 28

Originally posted by: Anna on 18 February 2013Is there anyone reading this who knows what this is like or can help me? I am a 28 year old mum of two children, the youngest just a baby, and since the birth of my second, have been going through alot of... View more

Originally posted by: Anna on 18 February 2013Is there anyone reading this who knows what this is like or can help me? I am a 28 year old mum of two children, the youngest just a baby, and since the birth of my second, have been going through alot of general depression and anxiety. I've seen doctors and psychologists, and am reluctant to use medication as i'm concerned of the effects this will have on me breastfeeding. The main cause of my anxiety is a fear of cancer, which has become absolutely debilitating over the past few months. It's driving my partner mad, having effects on my oldest child, and preventing me from having social contact, as i feel unable to direct my focus to this phobia whenfriends are around (!). I have little energy for anything else in life but constantly checking my body for signs that I have cancer, and monitoring myself for any new signs. My latest fear is leukemia or some form of blood cancer, due to seven unexplained small bruises i have found on one leg, and the fact that i can feel my lymph nodes, despite being reassured by my doctor that they are within the normal size range. In the past year, i have "had": two types of breast cancer, cancer of the salivary gland, leukemia (seperate from this episode), brain tumor, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, skin cancer,bone cancer and lymphoma. They have all been talked over with gps, who have explained the symptoms with fairly non-sinister causes. Constant checking of symptoms online has fuelled alot of this in the past, but I have mananged to control this to a degree recently, to no avail. If i do check the net, I start out intending to seek reassurance, only to wind up in a complete state of panic, calling my partner at work to let him know I'm dying, and with usual panic symptoms (sweating, racing heart, numb fingers and toes, pressure headaches etc). It seems everywhere i go, everything I read, is saturated with the constant threat and reminder that cancer is out there, waiting to pounce on me. I'm so scared, as i have two children who are my reason for living, and who need me. I can't shake the image of myself lying in a bed somewhere with measured time to live. I have always been scared and confronted of death, but this is getting out of hand. The saddest part of this all is that i want to live so much, but am nott enjoying life at all for this stupid fear of dying. I'm always asking my partner for reassurance and pointing out my symptoms to him, and although he does his best to deal with it by reassuring me and reminding me off all the other times it's turned out to be nothing, it's taking it's toll on our relationship. Another niggling thought that makes the situation even harder is this: What if, in spite of all the false alarms, this time it's the real deal? I mean. how many bullets can one dodge in a lifetime. I have no family history of cancer, but figure someone has got to be the unlucky one, and I bet it's just me! Sorry for the long ramble. If anyone can relate to this, please let me know. xx

Lauraj54 Health Anxiety
  • replies: 6

I have a bump on my tongue and I’m so scared it’s cancer. Two doctors have seen it and said they don’t think it is cancer, dr google of course suggests it is. i can’t let it go. I have constant health anxiety fears

I have a bump on my tongue and I’m so scared it’s cancer. Two doctors have seen it and said they don’t think it is cancer, dr google of course suggests it is. i can’t let it go. I have constant health anxiety fears

Possuman Parents and friends
  • replies: 5

So I had a really intense exercise addiction/ anaoxia (two go hand in hand) and it is worn off on my parents. It's so weird. Since getting help and recovery I can't stand to do any exercise, I think I've done enough for one lifetime. But they're real... View more

So I had a really intense exercise addiction/ anaoxia (two go hand in hand) and it is worn off on my parents. It's so weird. Since getting help and recovery I can't stand to do any exercise, I think I've done enough for one lifetime. But they're really into weight loss and push me to exercise. Like 7 hour hikes (nope). Also they started to uses the same diet talk, talking about losing weight and being fat. It's super triggering, but also really sad that maybe my obsession with "health" has made them unhappy. Either that or I'm super sensitive to diet culture. Maybe it's been there all along and I'm just noticing it now. Honestly just wondering if anybody else has experienced this, like I see eating disorder behaviours all the time in my friends/ family and I hope it wasn't me that introduced it to them. idk

Areyn13 Anxiety From Becoming an Adult
  • replies: 4

So I'm a 24 year old man who's lived most of his life sheltered from life. I live with my parents, I've never had a job outside of working alongside my dad and ever since finishing high school I've done pretty much nothing with my life. I've always d... View more

So I'm a 24 year old man who's lived most of his life sheltered from life. I live with my parents, I've never had a job outside of working alongside my dad and ever since finishing high school I've done pretty much nothing with my life. I've always distracted myself from everything, the thought of going outside into the real world fills me with anxiety and I have such a strong fear of failure that i feel like I'll never be able to turn my life around. The thought of applying for jobs scare me, i want to get a driver's license one day but driving is also a fear i have, I've thought about maybe doing some kind of courses or working towards some kind of certifications/trade and even doing volunteer work as i think it might help push me forward and out of my comfort zone, but it's all just very daunting

pinkwren Dealing with extreme self-doubt and anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hey there I haven't been on here in a while, but I just needed a place to vent and maybe reach out to anyone who is or has experienced something similar. I'm 16 years old and in year 11 at school, where it is about a term before I submit my first lot... View more

Hey there I haven't been on here in a while, but I just needed a place to vent and maybe reach out to anyone who is or has experienced something similar. I'm 16 years old and in year 11 at school, where it is about a term before I submit my first lot of assessment that will contribute to my ATAR next year. I have dealt with pretty severe anxiety since I was young, and lately I've been feeling that the self-doubt I have about my school work and future is becoming unbearable. I'm really anxious about my grades at school as I want to do well and please my family and not fall short of both the expectations they have for me and the expectations I have for myself. I do pretty well at school, getting straight A's, but I'm so anxious about failing and not getting the ATAR I want and need to get into the course I want to do at university (Veterinary Science Honours, ATAR 99). I'm becoming super anxious about studying and completing assignments where I'm sometimes finding it hard to sleep at night, and I'm anxious if I'm not studying or doing my schoolwork. I'm scared to finish year 11 and get my results back for the year and hear the award recipients for our school awards night as I'm afraid of not receiving an academic prize like I normally would for the fear that the people around me will think that I am stupid and didn't work hard enough. I'm becoming reluctant to tell my parents my grades too (even though they are not bad) because I'm also scared that they will think I'm not as smart as my sister and that I am dumb. I'm even more scared to finish year 12 and see what my ATAR is. I'm terrified of not receiving the required ATAR (99) I need and not getting into university (even though I know there are other pathways) because I feel that it will make me look like a failure to my friends and family. I'm scared of how I will react to my ATAR if it's not good enough, specifically, I'm scared I will take my own life if it's not good enough. I know this sound so dramatic and so stuck up and petty, but I just needed to get all that out. Thank you for reading if you got this far xx pw

BeeKay Anxiety and stress causing aggression at work.
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone. New here, so here goes... I'm a young woman working full time in a healthcare sector. Recently I have been struggling under the demands of my employer to reach unrealistic high targets, and being an essential worker during this pandem... View more

Hello everyone. New here, so here goes... I'm a young woman working full time in a healthcare sector. Recently I have been struggling under the demands of my employer to reach unrealistic high targets, and being an essential worker during this pandemic. I have been experiencing conflict with colleagues and management which has further exacerbated my anxiety and depression, and my 'imposter syndrome'. I have difficulty expressing my stress and frustration at work, and often don't realise when I am communicating aggressively or my body language is conveying a negative message. I am described by almost everyone who meets me as a kind, warm, shy, and caring person, with the best laugh in the office lol. I don't intentionally mean to come across aggressive and its probably more anxiety driven. However I have recently received feedback from management that I have been aggressive towards them and they feel I have attacked them on several occasions. I've been questioning myself, am I aggressive?, or are they possibly misinterpreting what I am trying to convey. I guess I don't like to think of myself as the kind of person who is aggressive towards others, I'm struggling with that concept, part of me want's to go and apologise and admit to everything because I don't like the feeling of conflict, and part of me is thinking if I did say something, it would always be with the best of intentions, and it was what I felt appropriate at the time. Either way it isn't sitting right with me, I've noticed myself toggling between feeling angry towards management, and then shame towards myself, and its this constant tug of war in my mind. Am I really that person?. And I think maybe because I'm currently experiencing burnout- to the point where I called lifeline for the first time ever at 3AM this morning due to feeling overwhelmed and having anxiety attacks- that I might even be unintentionally externalising this stress and anxiety through aggression. I have sought out mental health support through my organisations EAP and also see a psychologist external to the organisation as well. I want to address my behaviour, and change for the better, but not sure if I'm being too critical of myself. I'm wondering if anyone else on here has experienced something similar. How did you deal with the anxiety, guilt or shame when coming to terms with a behaviour that you aren't proud of? how do you deal with receiving negative/constructive criticism?. Thanks for reading! Beekay.

co0kiedoughh Finding work after graduation
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I am currently in my final semester of my masters for accounting, with no extracurriculars nor much experience and I feel hopeless. I have social anxiety issues which also lead me to have poor social/communication skills and have low sel... View more

Hi everyone, I am currently in my final semester of my masters for accounting, with no extracurriculars nor much experience and I feel hopeless. I have social anxiety issues which also lead me to have poor social/communication skills and have low self esteem. I never really had the courage to attend any career fairs or networking events nor volunteer. I was planning to bring up some courage to start working on this this year but with the current circumstances.... (I live my parents who are 60+ with poor health). I am 27 y.o. yet only have ‘2 years of retail experience’ ... which I really wouldn’t consider as experience as it’s my mum’s business which has already closed down. I’ve applied for some internship programs during the first year of my masters degree, but wasn’t successful. I was able to get one interview but I got far too nervous during the interview I stuffed it up. For our uni’s internship program I was able to reach the ‘assessment centre’ stage. However, I completely freaked out during the presentation and wasn’t able to make it through. I am completely lost and I’m not sure what to do at this point....? I haven’t gone to a counsellor because I don’t want my parent to find out about this (they have my Medicare card and would ask where I go..since I don’t have any friends). I am no longer eligible for internships, not enough experience for a graduate program...and I am hopeless at interviews. I really don’t know what to do at this point in time...?

Sandonz Fantasy Gone Wrong
  • replies: 8

Story of my life,.self inflicted fantasies, about someone from my past. Someone who I was cheating with while I was living with my partner at the time. I was only 22. I feel very guilty now as I was so wrong. A lot of the details I cant even remember... View more

Story of my life,.self inflicted fantasies, about someone from my past. Someone who I was cheating with while I was living with my partner at the time. I was only 22. I feel very guilty now as I was so wrong. A lot of the details I cant even remember. At first it was just a matter of fantasising about happy memories, and what might have been. Now it has become a matter of obsessive thoughts. A year ago I took it too far, found contact details and made phone contact after 40 years, it started well and deteriated. I became obsessed with meeting up with him.The actual meeting went reasonably well ..My hubby took me to see him but doesnt know the full story. Then 2 months later another phone call which in my opinion started ok and then deteriated. Mainly because I started talking about my guilt from the past. So now my mind constantly goes over and over the conversations .. what I should have said and what I could have said. Its been 6 months since last contact. He has never contacted me, but has been friendly and kind the 3 times I have spoken to him. We are both married to other people for more than 35 years. and to complicate it even further, both men know each other through business, not as close friends but they also have friends in common through their industry. My hubby has no idea how tormented my mind is. I am constantly analysing each conversation, and knowing I stuffed it totally. All I wanted from this renewed contact was friendship. But he has moved on with wife family etc., and rightly so. He did say a few confusing things in first conversation that totally had me confused and misread the situation, leading me to talk too much and raise the past, which I shouldnt have done so I feel that he was partly at fault for me saying some of the things I did. My mind just swings from one scenario to another, wondering if he thinks Im crazy.. which I most likely am. Now I just want to forget the whole thing I want the unwanted thoughts to stop, I want my guilt to stop over what I did then, and I want my secrets from my husband to stop. I cant tell him, but if I could stop the thoughts I would be happier person, and then I could re connect with my hubby , who is a good man, and loyal to me always. Ive googled everything I can, read a lot of self help books, seeing a psychologist, on meds to help with OCD. In total this has been going on for approx 14 months. Any perspective on this would be greatly appreciated.

Jessten Struggling to support others
  • replies: 7

I received a phone call yesterday asking me to pick up friends children as my friend was in hospital. I agreed to having them overnight but then got a phone call today saying they are keeping her in longer and she needs me to look after them longer. ... View more

I received a phone call yesterday asking me to pick up friends children as my friend was in hospital. I agreed to having them overnight but then got a phone call today saying they are keeping her in longer and she needs me to look after them longer. I dont know if the fact I'm not 100% myself or what it is exactly but I feel like I'm struggling to staying strong and keep it together this time. Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation and how did U cope with it? I feel guilty even thinking this way