Anxiety and Depression Hittin' Hard

[Samyol]

I posted here a while back discussing the health issues I was plagued with and this post is not much different. I'm suffering from anxiety and depression in many different ways as a direct result of gastrointestinal issues. Ever since a young age I've been anxious, especially anxious of eating food in public or being sick in public. I think this comes down to a fear of vomiting otherwise known as I've been told "emetophobia".

The last few months the GI (gastrointestinal) issues I've had my whole life have taken a serious affect on my whole, the point in which I never feel good. Always queasy, always nauseous and always terrified of vomiting even in the comfort of my own home. As this has been on-going and my hospital referral to see a specialists for my GI issues is not for another 10 days (Just so happened to be an urgent case), I've been confined to the spaces of my home and at this point have pretty much lost all motivation and my ability to get outside of the house, let alone ever work again (I'm an 18 year old male that quit my job because of these very health conditions).

I'm curious as to what in my stage of health mentally and physically what can I do? I'm limited to non-physical activities and any activities involving leaving the house is beyond what I can handle because of how I feel physically daily. My relationships including that between myself and my girlfriend are slowly falling apart. I can't ever see anyone nor hang out with anyone just because of the nature of how I feel. Quite frankly I just feel left alone, my mother tells me constantly that my GI issues are in my head and that there's nothing wrong with me and although I believe this to be false, it really makes me question my sanity. Am I living a big lie? Is this a trick my mind is playing on me in order to run from the real world where a hard working job is necessary and just a part of life?

I really don't know what to do anymore, I look like crap, I feel like crap everyday and even now it's 5AM and I'm yet to sleep solely because of nausea. I'd appreciate any responses of support.

Thank you very much.

[Guest_9467]

Hi Samyol

Sounds like a lot of anxiety going on in there and a lot more building .

Its good that you are getting the GI problems looked into and there is not much more you can really do until then except to maybe control your anxiety and thoughts behind it all . GI problems can be caused by anxiety , just think of butterflies in your stomach. Mine felt like elephants. In saying this GI problems in themselves can also be very common and mostly easy treated . I know reflux untreated can make a person feel shocking but yet easily treated these days.

I think maybe you need to address the anxiety behind this which looks to be a sort of circle where the symptoms are causing more anxiety and in turn were the GI problems are being aggravated by it . This is pure anxiety.

So onto the anxiety . Alot of the thoughts you are thinking are pretty common not only with anxiety but also with anyone that is sick . Hopefully they find something to sort it out but if not then you will need to accept that it is anxiety and work on this . If it is anxiety then this DOESN'T mean its all in your head . It means that the stress in your body is coming out in this form . By learning ways to handle this stress and the anxious thoughts behind it then it will settle .
I would like to offer you something that i think may help you understand what is going on and how it comes about . If you Youtube Dr Weekes and watch the longer versions then it might give you a better understanding . Its old from the 1960s but she was the mother of all modern talk therapy.

A final word . Hopefully they find something to help you and can move on a bit but i think you know that there is also some anxiety that you also need to address there also. It will get better , just give it some time and wait until you see docs and go from there.

cheers kev

[Ben_L]

Hey Samyol sorry to hear all of the terrible experiences you've been through,

Just wanted to add that i too hit roadblocks on my way to becoming a "normal"human being, is what i thought. You see, i used to have juvenile epilepsy and my seizures were violent, very violent. I can say that this raised my awareness on everything around me and i went paranoid. I was born early so i was underdeveloped, couldnt speak until i was 9. This really impacted how i perceived myself.

In 2018 When i was 15 i was diagnosed with autism and generalised anxiety, this led on to me getting brain scans, and to be controlled later on medication. I was also found to be depressed which really impacted my own self esteem and my social life

Look, what i can say is, sometimes we don't get lucky and our bodies screw up on us, but its up to you to find the light in the situation and let it guide you to the right path.

I may be young, but im sure that you will have a lot more experiences to go through in your life

Keep your chin up, Check in soon 🙂

BL

[Samyol]

Thanks for the reply kev, I appreciate it :). For some reason I never thought of the v possibility that although the GI symptoms may be true in their nature, its possible my anxiety makes them worse.

I've been thinking about whether it's anxiety causing ALL of the problems I'm going through at the moment which I think is the wrong thing to think about at this point, instead how anxiety could be worsening the GI problems I have. I've never sought professional help for my health anxiety/fears of being sick and I think this in turn was silly of me to leave for so long as now they're both destroying me. Next time I see my GP I'll be sure to get a mental health plan to see a psychologists. I'll also check out the youtube videos! Thank you very much.

[Samyol]

Hey Ben, I'm sorry to hear about the epilepsy and seizures you've experienced and I hope you've gotten through the hard parts of life and come out stronger. Thank you for your reply, it's up to me to find the light in this situation and honestly it's all I want.

I've been focusing so much on the negatives because realistically all I feel now is negativity. If it weren't for my parents I'd had gone to the hospital long before now to get this sorted but they're certain my anxiety is the larger issue here which is fair enough.

You're very wise in saying sometime we are just unlucky and our bodies screw up on us, and you're right, our bodies do. I'm just scared of how much my body is screaming up on me as I'm yet to know 😞

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Samyol,

Thank you for your post. You've got some great replies and support here so I'll try not to double all of that up. I've had quite a bit of experience with GI issues - some people thinking that it was anxiety related, and others thinking that there was a medical reason. It did my head in, in the same way I'm imagining you're going through now.

I think the most important thing to know that if this GI stuff is 'in your head' that doesn't make them any less real, and it certainly doesn't make it a lie. Sometimes, the symptoms are real but there's nothing biologically going on. In the same way that people get headaches when they are stressed - still very much real and not at all a lie.

I hope that maybe this gives you some reassurance. Regardless of what your gastroenterologist says, there will always be a way through.

RT

[Ben_L]

Hey Samyol,

Great to see all the support you are getting here so quickly, thank you for having concern about my past issues but this is about you, so we want to do everything we can to help you.

Not much more i can offer you as i am new to beyond blue as well, but I'm sure that people with more authority than me will be able to provide the adequate support you need.

Good luck out there 🙂

Ben

[Samyol]

Heya, it's reassuring to know I'm not alone in experiencing issues in regards to the gastrointestinal tract and there being almost a stigma about being able to distinguish between whether or not it's our minds causing these issues or it's an actual physical organic problem.

I always marked it as less significant if it were to be a result of my mind playing tricks, like it doesn't matter almost. It almost feels wrong to think it's just as much as an issue if its mental as oppose to physical. My parents often use the word "Just", such as "just go out and get your mind of things" implying it's an easy process when I really don't believe it is 😞

You've certainly made me at least mentally feel better about the whole situation and for that I'm grateful. Thank you for your response 🙂

[Samyol]

The responses alone as more than enough, thank you very much Ben 🙂

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Samyol,

It's good to hear back from you and you're welcome. 🙂

There is absolutely a stigma with these sorts of issues. If it's stress related "don't get stressed!" if it's anxiety related "just breathe" and if it's depression related "cheer up!". (I've heard all of that! haha).

How much do you think your parents play a part in all of it? It can be so hard when they don't understand - in their eyes they see a physically healthy person even if that's not at all what you see or feel.

I'm always happy to talk when you're up for it 🙂 It would be great to hear how you get on with the specialist.

RT