Hi Fred,
Nope. You're not crazy. Just anxious. It makes sense to me because you want this job to work for you.
I get like that too. When I want something badly I start to panic about what might go wrong. What I might stuff up. You have invested time into this opportunity. It is important to you. This is a pretty vulnerable time when unhelpful thoughts creep in.
Have you tried writing the thoughts down or just breaking them down as they come to you?
For example feeling you'll make mistakes...
- All new employees stuff up. It is expected! What can you do? If you're not sure just ask for clarification or be honest I'm not quite sure but I want to learn now if you can show me.
- What would realistically happen if you did mess up? Most companies have a performance management system anyway so if you make mistakes they give you a chance to improve.
- How can you possibly know you'll stuff up until you have tried the job and given it a go for a few weeks? Is this worry realistic or out of proportion?
- You will have colleagues and support. They saw something in you that will add to the team. Trust their judgement. They wanted you.
- Fraud? Did you tell a whopper of a fib on your cv? Claim a degree when you don't have one? Unless it is massive like that noone will care they will get to know your work quality and skills over time.
Along with challenging thoughts how about trying some mindfulness apps or music or meditation of exercise at the times where the anxiety is the worst.
You are going to be fine. Give it two weeks. Then think back on how you felt and whether the anxieties were justified. I think you'll look back and think why on earth was I so distressed.
Feel free to keep writing, venting or whatever you need. We'll be here to remind you it's anxiety speaking.
Nat
