Good morning K94. You are very courageous to come onto the Forums in an effort to seek support and guidance during such a difficult time for you. I am so very sorry for what has happened. Nobody deserves this to happen to them. I went through something similar to you 20 years ago. So I understand what you are likely feeling right now.
Have you reported the incident to the authorities? Have you sought help from anybody such as your GP, or a counsellor? It is very important that you seek some support K94, as it could help to prevent long term issues down the track, such as ptsd and other anxiety related disorders. When it happened to me, I never told anybody and kept it all bottled up for many years. I regret that now, so I dont want you to make the same mistake I did.
You say that you live with 20 other people, which makes me think you are living in some sort of group housing. You also say that you are feeling extremely alone. I know that I feel lonely when I am in a crowd of people. Where as if I am on my own, I somehow dont feel alone. Its a little odd I know, but I think many people actually feel this way.
Have you told anybody what has happened to you? If not, this could be contributing towards your feelings of being totally alone. You may be internalising all your emotions, with no way to release it all. Bottling things up and keeping secrets can be extremely isolating.
Your feelings of tiredness and always wanting to cry - I know that feeling so well. Its normal to go through all that after what you have been through. It will get better, but you need time to process what has happened. In the meantime I strongly urge you to seek help initially from your GP. If further help is needed he or she may arrange for you to see a counsellor to psychologist to help you through the immediate emotional crisis you are going through.
Do you have family or friends who can support you during this time? It is an important part of the healing process, and you can use as much emotional support as you can get right now.
K94, these Forums are a safe place for you to discuss your issues, so please speak as freely as you're able. The more information you are able to provide, the better the advise we are all able to offer you.
I hope you feel able to keep posting, and I know you will receive further advice and support from other people here on the Forums.
Dont worry, you will feel happy again. ( - :
Sherie xx
