The Gradience of Blue

[demuredawnigan]

The title goes out to just about a majority of Beyond Blue members - and, here I am, another young female individual diagnosed with high-depression and anxiety. In a matter of days, I'll be able to mark 5 years of endurance for my suffering, under one of the two most common mental illnesses of this generation. It's no surprise though, I mean the world is beyond fix.

As the newly registered girl, like most of you, I'm searching for people (around about my age - 18) whom are able to understand and accept my shitty mentality. Because really, isn't that one of the things the youth of today absolutely crave - to be understood? That, and to be OKAY again. In saying that, I mean to no longer be dragged down by unexplainable sadness and moderate confusion, everyday. It's difficult. It's very difficult.

Dawn - that's what I prefer to be called. I want to help the world, but I've yet to be helped myself. I seek a tight bond with people - whether it be domestically (family), friendship or romance. Long-lasting relationships is what I crave in humans. And that's it - that's what I'm here for.

[Doolhof]

Hi Dawn,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the Community here. I am more than double your age, but I do still remember some of the feelings I had when I was 18.

Maybe the situation was different when I was 18 but I still had a lot of uncertainty about the future. I thought the world was pretty well in turmoil then, growing up with the Vietnamese war happening wondering if we would be invaded by The USSR (Russia and its old empire) the thought of nuclear bombs being exploded all over the place, poverty and so much more.

I think it is normal for every group of 17 to 21 year olds through history to feel like they are a little lost, confused, misunderstood, outsiders, misunderstood, not acknowledged and so much more.

Try and make the most of all you have around you right now. Keep in touch with family and friends. Accept that none of us see eye to eye. We all have our own thoughts and agendas. That is okay.

You will have your own thoughts and feelings about everything I have written here and that is okay as well. Feel free to share how you feel about what I have shared with you.

Hopefully people your age will connect with you as well and share how they are coping with all that is happening in their young lives.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[RGX]

Good Morning Dawn, My name is Luke and I am 15 years old.
Although I'm a few years younger than you unfortunately I can say that I know how you feel, however I am slightly different. I can relate to your desire to climb out of the hole filled with nothing but sadness and "dark" thoughts and wishing to be understood. But at the same time when people I know or care about try to help me I push them away. I don't show a lot of emotion (Father's side) and although it is something I may need. I just can't talk to people about it.

 I think to myself everyday:
"Bro, you should talk to people about it, they can help you out and you'll feel better. It will make you stronger".
But then right after that all I think is:
"No, don't worry about it, don't burden others with your problems. You've just got to have a teaspoon of cement and harden up, talking to others about it will just make you weaker".

But deep down I know that talking to someone about it is something I might need. I think about the state of the world and future reprocussions to it as a result of our poor treatment to it in the near future every single day of my life. I can only focus on the negatives of life no matter how much I try to get myself out of the slum.

But although I'm just some kid on the internet I can promise you I know how you feel.

- Luke