What should I do with my future T^T

[RainYSun]

My life...is pretty annoying right now. I don't know what to do. I originally wanted to graduate Highschool, go to Uni, draw manga for a living. I've been avoiding this for a long time.....but I actually want to be a Kpop idol. I am an Asian who lives in Australia. I really admire many Kpop idols especially BTS for all those people they've inspired, and how far they have maded through hard work and how much they've done to achieve their dreams. I want to be someone like them, not a pop star, but an idol.

So what's annoying about this?

There are a few factors that come in play and the first one is that everyone expects me to become a manga artist and I do love drawing manga and not meaning to brag, I am very talented in it. Singing, dancing, rapping, I am only a bit above average those but it's not something that people think I'll do. I'm not sure that if I ever become a Kpop idol would people be like "why though? It's such a shame, you were so great at drawing." I don't think my parents will support me at all because I'm "so good at drawing so why not make a living out of drawing?"

another one is, I am not a Korean citizen and has to finish school. I'm in Highschool right now and once I graduate I'll be 17. In Korea, its best to become a trainee when you're below the age of twenty, and I don't think I'll be good enough at Korean (I am making progress on it though) and have enough money to move to Korea, support myself while living there and to be smart enough to study there. I just don't think I'll have enough time to do all of that stuff.

and yet another one, even if I managed to live there and gain support from people. I'm not a particular gender and would not want to be a girl but even if I was a in a guy group I'm not physically a guy. In Korea you are assigned either to a female group or male group. I do not want to be solo artist...Will I have to do FtM transition? Yes gender is another topic, I wish I was a male, it's not about stereotype s or gender roles, it's just having female parts annoy me and I do not like having a higher pitched soft sound. I don't feel like a female either but I'm not male at the same time but will Korea accept that?

I want to become a Kpop idol and not just some random idol from Australia who is Chinese. They are great but...they lack something that Kpop idols have.

I just...don't know what to do.

[MsPurple]

RainYSun and welcome to the BB forums. I just want to let you know I am a fellow forum like you and am not a professional. Dr Kim is the only professional forum user. Just want you to know because myself (and other forums) will always try our best of offer good advice, but sometimes it may not help every situation. We are a support system and we may not have all the answers.

It sounds like you have a concerns going on. You are not sure about what to do in your future. When I was 17 (which was 8 years ago, gosh I feel old) I wasn't too sure what I wanted to do. I thought I wanted to go to uni, get married youngish and have kids. Well not everything went to plan. I am single, but I did go to uni. The point of that was that it is ok to not be so sure what you want to do for work/career right now. It takes time to figure out what you wanna do.I think you should look into things that interest you. If you like drawing then consider doing drawing for a career, if you don't then it may not be for you. Have you seen your school career counselor? I went to mine and discussed options with him. They are really good to see. Maybe discuss your options with them

With the gender situation have you discussed this with your parents or with your GP. There are options regarding this but it would probably be best to discuss this with your doctor. We also have a rainbow forum here on the BB forums. It is in the social section. We have a few transgender members there who you can ask questions about regarding this.

My suggestion is to not worry too much about your career future. Try not let it stress you out too much. Maybe take steps towards figuring it out such as seeing your school career counselor. I know first hand how hard it can be to not live in the future and to not stress about it. I wished when I was 17 I could live more in the moment. Try enjoy the now and do things that make you happy.