what should i do next?

[black_butterfly]

I have been dealing with forms of Anxiety for as long as i can remember.. but as i have hit high school age i find it has gotten a lot worse. I get nervous about the smallest things- eg going to school. I get physically sick in more ways then one.. i find that one lesson i really struggle with is PE i have had a few panic attacks during this lesson which is making me unable to participate and making me get a low grade. I haven't spoken to anyone at school about it but I am really wanted to but don't have the courage to go and see them.. I have days that i think to myself that i am really bad and should see someone but on others i think that im not bad enough or that other people have bigger problems and that i don't need to see anyone. 

 Ive told a few of my close friends and they all agree that i should go but i honestly don't know.. 

[Narniakid]

Hey black butterfly, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I remember feeling just how you describe when I was in high school; I used to physically get sick before and during school and I would often have to leave class due to anxiety attacks. Don't compare your problems to others'; mental illness does not discriminate, and we all experience each day differently and handle different situations differently, and you are no weaker for feeling the way you do.

I applaud you on taking the first step and telling someone, and it sounds like you have supportive friends. I do suggest you seek some sort of professional help, as while your friends and family mean well, they won't understand what you're going through to the extent a counsellor or doctor would. 

Perhaps open up to your parents and ask about getting some professional help, and speak to your school about what kind of special provisions are avaliable to you.

Crystal

[Bluey_moon]

Hi Black butterfly, 

You have been very brave to open up, both on here and to your friends and it is such an important first step!!

How easy do you find it talking to your mum / dad? Is it possible to sit down with them and chat about what is going on! 

I think seeing someone professional is an excellent idea, some psycologists are very good, I have a great one. You could start with a school counseller/ Chaplin if you feel comfortable doing this, they may be able to help or refer you. Also your GP, if you feel comfortable is an excellent idea. 

I find the support of this beyond blue community immensely helpful, and I have only just joined! 

Take care

skye

[black_butterfly]

Hi Skye,

I have a really close bond with my mum, but my dad has passed away, so its just me and her.. she knows about a bit of it but not to the full extent

i have been told that there is a great program at school with the counselors but i find im just to nervous to talk to them.. i have tried a few times but end up walking out because i know im going to freak out or forget what im going to say. I think about every possible outcome and what they are going to say but i don't know what to say for the reason im going to see them and i find it very confronting. 

Thanks for replying to me though 🙂 

[Bluey_moon]

When I go to the psycologist, I try writing down things I want to ask or say. 

Maybe you could print out your post and hand it to them! They can read it and you could go from there. 

Maybe try explaining the whole situation to your mum, as a mum myself, I just know I'd want to know what was happening. You could try writing it to her in a letter if that was easier 

Hang in there,  maybe you could try keeping a journal, it might help to write your thoughts and feelings down. 

You have taken the first and biggest step! 

Skye