What's wrong with me?

[Zach]

I'm in year 12, I play high-level basketball and at the moment it looks like I'll get the ATAR I need to do Biomedical Engineering on the other side of Australia at uni next year. I feel like I'm never good enough and I'm always letting everyone down. I constantly try to improve myself. I'm not perfect enough for my parents, my teachers, or my friends. I can't sleep, I can't stop over-thinking every detail of what I've done or what I want to do, I get weird moments where I get really hot but start shivering and my chest gets tight when I think too much about it in public, I've been sick with the flu for 2 months and I've gone from having heaps and heaps of friends to even my best friend texting me this morning saying "Our friendship=over. I'm sick of you and all your problems.". I'm bad to my friends and I can't tell I'm doing it anymore. I can't keep living like this. Please help me understand what's going on.

[Chris_B]

Hi Zach, sorry mate, sounds like it's been a pretty intense couple of months.  

All the symptoms you describe are typical of someone experiencing anxiety.  The good news is, you are not the only person to have gone through this and there is a way through it.  Have a look at this page for some info and videos about anxiety - http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/depression-and-anxiety/what-is-anxiety/ .

One of the first things we do when anxiety overcomes us is that we start beating up on ourselves, and I've been through this myself...we think there's something wrong with us, that we're not good enough etc. It's frustrating and confusing, and sometimes we lash out at our friends and family, which it sounds like you may have been doing.

With all this overwhelming stuff: pressure to perform on the basketball court, passing your exams, possibly worrying about what life will be like living in a new place etc, the first thing to do is slow right down and try to deal with one issue at a time.  

Can you talk with your parents and describe to them exactly what you've written above?  They probably have no idea what's going on inside your head and how much it's affecting your day-to-day life.  

If you really feel you can't talk with your parents, then give our helpline a call on 1300 22 4636 and they can talk through some options with you: looking into some sessions with a counsellor will be a huge help in pulling out the strands of everything running through your brain and working on some solutions.

With having the flu for 2 months, I'm guessing you've already been seeing your doctor: have you explained to your doctor the symptoms and feelings you describe above as well?  The more you tell him/her, the better he/she is able to help.  

The best friend situation is tough.  My best advice there would be to make a time to see him/her *in person* and talk about what's been going on for you, if you feel safe about doing that.  Don't do it over text.

But I'd talk to your parents first - one step at a time, and please check back in here and let us know how you're going.

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Online Community Manager