Hey guys, I really need some advise, I’m so conflicted at the moment.
ive been with my partner for 7 years, I knew he had depression when we got together and me being the happy-go-lucky person I was, I was very accepting and understanding of his moods and would often be the only person who could cheer him up and get him through the hard days. Fast forward to now, and I just don’t know if I can do it anymore. He has always taken medication to treat his depression and severe social anxiety - or so I thought. I found out earlier this year that he stopped taking his meds about 2 years ago! He used to be an occasional weed smoker, but now he relies on it to function. He insists it works better than his meds ever did, and if he has to go without it he becomes irrational, verbally aggressive, highly irritable and all the other good stuff. He takes his moods out on me and our 3 year old, and I just can’t handle it anymore. I myself am now on antidepressants and feel like he has dragged me down to the point where people don’t recognise me as the happy person I used to be, now I’m just a tired, stressed, grump.
I have begged my partner to seek professional help, go to therapy, get back on his meds, and he always promises after a huge fight that he will change, but he never has. He refuses to work, so despite my longing to ne home with my daughter and eventually have more babies I am stuck in a job that I hate in order to keep a roof over our heads, and all our spare income is spent on funding his smoking habit.
I want better for myself, for my daughter, but I am so worried about calling it quits and what it may lead to. He has threatened suicide before, he doesn’t have any friends, his family aren’t very understanding, I feel like if I leave him he will literally have no one to turn to and he will either kill himself or guilt me into going back to him. I’m ready to walk away, but I know it will destroy him.
Please help!
