Dear Fastgirl
Welcome to Beyond Blue. It's great that you are concerned about your BF welfare.
The challenge with depression is realizing that it colours our every thought, usually to our detriment. The brain is quite lazy and wants to maintain the status quo. So when you are in a depressed state the brain is happy to keep you there. Sounds really tricky doesn't it?
But we often argue with ourselves over different things. Should I do this or that, go here or there. Should I accept a date with this or that person. In many ways your situation is the same. Should I push my BF away for his own good or should I stay with him because my life will feel so empty without him.
It is easier to stay depressed and this has nothing to do with being lazy. The Black Dog is an artful creature and will no doubt tell you how selfish you are to put your BF through all the turmoil of supporting you at this time.So stay focused on getting well and include your BF in your plans.
How much do you know about depression? Go to the top of the page and click on the tabs. Go to The Facts or Resources then click on Depression under the Facts and For Me and Family and Friends under resources. You will find a whole heap of information. It's always good to be as informed as possible about any illness. BB will send any information you want or you can download it.
Get information for your BF and sit down together and talk about it. Having a starting point is always easier when discussing these things. Tell him how you feel even if you do not know why. There is often no specific reason for your tears or your feelings of hopelessness.
If you have not seen your GP please make an appointment ASAP. Depression rarely goes away by itself. You may or may need medication. That's up to you. It may well be helpful to see a counselor or psychologist. Again this is up to you and your doctor.
I hope you will reply and also talk to your BF about your fears of him leaving you.
Regards
Mary
