Treating depression

[Marli19]

Hi,

I'm an 18 year old girl, I've had depression since i was 11 and it was triggered by an eating disorder since then ive been on and off antidepressants. Recently my depression has become really bad again Im finding it hard to eat and leave my house. I've taken 4 sick days off work in the past two weeks because i cant bring myself to leave my room. I recently went to my doctors to talk about my depression and she prescribed me with the same antidepressants i used to take but I just won't take them, I'm sick of feeling depressed and its effecting every aspect of my life but i don't want to start relying on a pill to get me through life. I've tried talking to my parents about it but they aren't supportive at all and think i just need to take the meds. I am recreational drug user and i know you cant be on antidepressants when taking certain drugs and i know i must sound completely idiotic but i would much rather be depressed and take recreational drugs than be on my antidepressants and not be able to take them... I also have lost my appetite entirely due to my depression and again this will sound dumb but i'm scared taking my antidepressants will increase my appetite and ill gain weight, as i said before i have had eating disorders in the past and i'm worried about what will happen in the future. I have no idea what to do or who to talk to, my parents are aware of my cannabis use but nothing else and i dont feel comfortable talking to a doctor about illegal drugs but i feel like i will never get an unbiased opinion. Any advice?

[geoff]

Hello Marli, a warm welcome to the forums.

I firstly want to apologise that your comment hasn't been replied to, so I'm really so sorry.

I can understand how you are feeling because the drug/s you are taking seem to numb how you are feeling so quickly, I can't complain because I used alcohol even while I was taking an AD, however circumstances changed for me as I was divorced, and the story goes on.

The AD's help improve your mood, help you sleep better, and increase your appetite and concentration once they begin to work and any side-effects that you fear, may not happen with you.

When you go and see a doctor they will ask questions, they have to find out what they need to treat you with, and yes I was told not to drink alcohol as a self medicating tool, it was then a decision I had to make, stop or continue, but depression is so powerful it controls how we think so I understand how you are feeling and what you are doing.

The doctor will just say that you shouldn't be 'using', but they may be able to help you with support.

There is some medication which will stop the urge or the craving to smoke, but this will only help you if that's what you want to do.

Are you able to click on 'Get Support' and then scroll down to 'Find a professional', these doctors are aligned to BB and specialise with mental illness, perhaps they can help you.

Can you please stay in touch with us.

Geoff.

[PamelaR]

Hi Marli and welcome.

I too am sorry that it took so long for someone to respond to your post. Just be assured it's nothing in your post, it's our own system here that is the issue.

Geoff has give you some information. I don't have much more to add, other than maybe have a look at some of the other posts throughout the forums.

There are a lot of members here in the community with experience of cannabis use, what we can help with is peer support around coping with your depression and stories of what has worked for others - please feel free to join in some of the discussions in the Depression forum to get started. One particular thread you might find interesting to join in on is -

Depression and Cannabis use

You can do a search in the search field at the top of the BB webpage.

You're not alone Marli. Let us know how things go, if and when you want to.

Kind regards
PamelaR

[Ell43]

Hi Marli,
Gosh you have a lot going on for you at the moment, I would imagine it could be quite overwhelming having to think about all these things (depression, work pressure, weight issues, medications, drug use, ect). I bet your mind is constantly ticking over! I’m glad you’ve posted in here, hopefully some of the advice might help untangle a bit of it for you 😃
What I thought when I was reading your post, was have you ever tried treatment for your depression that wasn't pharmacological? The latest research is now suggesting that a combination of therapy and medication is the BEST treatment for depression, rather than either in isolation.
There are many people out there that, for whatever reason, don't want to take antidepressants, and that's ok. In many cases Cognitive-Behaviour-Therapy can be just as effective at reducing the symptoms of depression as medication can.
I'm guessing that given you were diagnosed with depression 7 years ago, you have probably seen a psychologist or counsellor before, and there is a chance that it might not have worked for you in the past. That’s ok too. However, the important thing I took from your post was that you really seem like you want to get better and that don't want this depression to rule your life. That mind set is THE most important element in therapy. Without the client truly wanting to get better, the therapy really can't be effective. Possibly your mind set has change in the recent years, and this might mean therapy would work/work better for you?
In a nut shell, anti-depressants are really great at reducing the symptomology of depression, but they don't teach us how to cope without them. Like you said, you don't want to rely on a pill. The answer to that is while you take the medication, access the therapy to learn the ways of fighting depression yourself. CBT works by teaching you to recognise the automatic negative thoughts you tell yourself (or depression tells you) and then provides you the strategies to stop them. For many people, once they have achieved this, they no long need the medication. The aim of CBT is to teach you to be your own therapist, so you don’t end up dependent on anyone (or anything) other than yourself.
Maybe if you’re really not keen to try the antidepressants again, therapy, like CBT might be worth a shot?
Ell 😃

[Ell43]

ps. I didn’t think any of the points in your post were dumb at all. I think they made a fair bit of sense, and I KNOW you are not the only one to think those things about antidepressants and illicit drug use/weight gain. I think they are common concerns!! Don't feel alone, or silly. It is all relevant!