I understand how you feel. Leaving home was a big deal to me before too and going OS was HUGE!
I have now been to 13 counties - mostly on my own.
What I found helped was to break it down and have support from others where you can. So the first thing might be packing your bag - get someone to be with you while you pack. Maybe one of your family who can encourage and uplift you. Get a ride to airport.
Tell the flight crew that you are anxious and may need someone to sit with you and check on you. I do this EVERY flight I go on and without exception the staff are amazing and ensure I don't loose it. Really they are brilliant and trained to help so ask for it.
Think of where and who can give you support once you are overseas. You say you are meeting a friend, let her/him know that about your concerns so that they can help if you need it.
Really I have found that tellig people, being honest has been the way I have managed. People love to help. Strangers will help. Seriously. If you are stressed out and scared, tell someone and they will most likely sit with you and offer comfort.
The thing this gives me peace of mind is that I am not truly alone anywhere. Someone will help if I need it - and time and again they have.
As for you worry that something will happen to your family, consider a rational thought about that. Is it really likely? If not remind yourself of that, if it is possible (like someone is sick now) then plan for what you can do to come home.
Last time I was overseas I had to come back mid-way through a 6 month trip because my beloved Uncle was unwell. It was easy to change flights and come home within 24 hours and travel insurance (which you must have) covered the cost of the tickets home and then back to where I had come from.
There really is no problem you will have that someone can't help you with and you are obviously a brave, clever, and adventurous girl who has many resources. I am certain that you can do this....and enjoy it.
If you still think it is too much, then take a shorter trip the first time. Go for Christmas and come home. You don't need to push yourself, especially if you feel its too much.
My first trip was to Vietnam alone for 14 days. I had friends put me on the plane. Flight staff sit with me on take off, take me to my connecting flight in KL and when I got to Vietnam I had a friend living the first city I visited and that helped me to ground and settle and I knew when I left that city I could still call on him it I had to (and I did at one point in tears saying I wanted to go home the next day and thankfully he convinced me to have a sleep and decide in the morning - I stayed).
Take small steps, and be assured you will survive this and you family will most certainly be fine too. xx
