This Friend/ Person

[Guest_7714]

So I have this person in my life, who has constantly made it quite clear that she is my friend so she won't be alone. I have also tried to tell her and hey her to talk to me more but that back fired as I accidentally said something mean. She is really stubborn and really doesn't care about other people, she will be blunt and rude sometimes, and sometimes I feel as though her emotions are more valuable and to be notice than others. She's always like this and that, yet they are always complaints if she does talk about something other than schoolwork. Today we had this fete thing, but she kept on dragging me away from the people I think are my friends. The more time I spend with her, the less I actually want to be there. I feel as though I want nothing more than an occasional distribution of words with her. What should I do? How can I ignore her?

[quirkywords]

Welcome guest to the forum. this is a friendly, supportive and caring place.

Friendships can be tricky at any stage especially at school as everything is intense and can be confusing. I understand that you have been kind to your friend even though she seems to be telling you what to do.

Your friend may have problems communicating with others and sees you as maybe helping her. Sometimes people treat others rudely because they have their own problems and are afraid of getting too close to people.

I can tell you don’t want to hurt her but you also want to protect yourself from being hurt.

How do you imagine you could achieve this? What might happen if you ignore her completely?

I wonder what would happen if you sat down and tell her how you are feeling.

I ask questions as it helps me to work things out. Answer them if you feel comfortable doing so.

Thanks again for taking the time to write your first post.

Quirky

[Ell43]

Hey guest,
Welcome 😃

That does sound like a bit of a tricky situation for you. I think you're really kind to not want to hurt her feelings, but I also agree with Quirky, it's important to protect yourself from being hurt too.

Sometimes when people are very blunt they may struggle to understand vague messages and we have to be very clear with them. Perhaps you could try talking to this friend/person and explaining what you like about them as well as the things you are struggling with, such as the fact that conversation often revolves around complaints. Perhaps you could also try and point out that you want to stay their friend, but that you don't want your relationship with them to impact your other friendships like it did at the fete.

I know that its definitely not easy to just start up that conversation. But maybe first trying to explain to them how you're feeling might be easier than trying to ignore them straight away without them knowing why.

I'm not sure if you are in school, or if this other person goes to your school as well. But maybe if you do and they are, this is something you could ask the school counsellor for advice with? They might have a better idea about whats going on for you if they are familiar with the people at your schools? If there isn't a counsellor at your school, maybe there is a trusted teacher or staff member?

Ell