Technically, I should be fine

[Dinomight]

Hey. This is my first thread. I've had a quick peak at the forum rules but forgive me if I write something wrong.

I have an active social life, I have a good sense of humour, I'm seeing a stunning girl, I (attempt to) keep fit and I consider myself quite smart. But something's seriously wrong.

I've spent a very long time trying to work it out, but I've come as far as I can alone. I have good days and bad, like everyone.

Imagine it's like somebody in a pitch black room, tracing their hands along the wall and trying to find the switch. Sometimes I feel so close, yet so far. It's almost like...(I love my metaphors) spending years formulating some algebraic sum to work out 2 + 2.

I'm not a religious person, but it's almost like I'm not allowed to be happy, karma for something I don't remember doing. Imagine emotions are colours; red, blue, orange, and so on. Mine are like a tasteless, singular brown mixture swirling around, waiting to be simplified back to the basics, happy or sad. A great example, our beloved family dog of 17 years passed away earlier this year (mid 2015), and I have yet to feel anything.

Now, bear with me here- this may sound confusing and contradictory, but I need to be honest so you have the full picture. I do feel pleasure still. I am a bit of a narcissist. I love the thought of people worrying about me, and thinking about me. Yet, the opposite also applies. If for example, I say or do something, and nobody responds, it's a gut-wrenching feeling... equivalent to falling off a cliff. A form of humiliation, shame and embarrassment unlike anything else.

So here's a quick summary. I still feel high's and lows. But they're so...distorted, on a different wavelength. If I, say, make a Facebook status and nobody replies, it's the end of the world. If my dog dies, I don't feel anything.

Simple emotions- sad, happy, angry, I've lost. Does anyone relate? Or does someone just need to flick my ear and say "snap out of it!"?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I've got to admit, I feel a bit better just getting it out.

[CopingSince2012]

Hey Dinomight,

Just wanted to fuel your narcissism by replying and to let you know I love all your metaphors!

Take care of you!

[geoff]

dear Dinomight, hi, and there is a big difference between losing your dog of 17 years and people not responding back to you whether it's on facebook or in general, because it's a feeling of being rejected by your mates.

To love a dog is once again different to loving a person, so let's put this in simpler terms, you want to marry a g/friend because you deeply love her, but you're not going to marry your dog, you want your dog as company, but you want to share your life with this g/friend, so then when your g/friend or your mates reject you you feel alone, but there are times when we want our friends to acknowledge what we have said and then play along with us, but on facebook this doesn't always happen, because some people don't spend their time on facebook, it's how they accept you in real life.

I maybe well off the mark here but let us know. Geoff.