Study Pressure

StressedReader · ‎30-07-2017

Hello,

I am currently in my last term of year 11 and I plan to continue onto year 12. I am an academic student and my subjects can be quite challenging.

I focus so much on my school work that it seems that is the only thing I do. But within the last six months, I have found that I have become completely weighed down by school work. I pressure myself so much to do well and get the top of every class that I become suffocated. I feel that I have an underlying need to be like my older brother (extremely academic, scored 98 ATAR) and I push myself so hard even though I know I will not be like him.

The stress of school has become so bad for me lately that I have trouble focusing. I cry all the time for no reason and I cannot control my emotions on rare occasions. I have pushed many people away because "I need to study." I have several assessments due soon and I haven't even completed them because I become so stressed and distracted when I try to do them. I feel trapped by the school for the pressure and amount of work they expect us to complete. Perhaps I am over exaggerating but I really need the motivation and support to get me through. I fear that my stress and nerves will pull me down.

Blue_Jane · ‎31-07-2017

Hi StressedReader

Thanks for taking the time to share what is going on with you. It is great that you are focused and are going into year 12. Is it just you putting the pressure on yourself? Or your parents and school?

Even though I finished school a while ago I remember the stress of year 11 and 12. What I learnt over time is that I was more productive and clear minded when I ate well, had plenty of breaks, downtime with family and friends and regular exercise. It sounds strange but a break is more beneficial to the mind and body than pushing through to finish something off.

Have you tried breathing exercises or meditation? They are both helpful ways to get your mind relaxing and thinking more clearly.

Fast forward to where I am now and stress and nerves are still part of me but I am better at channelling them in the right way - to me it shows that we care which is a good thing. Being conscientious and consistent helped me through uni and into my career - however having a social life and other things going on has made me better at all aspects of my life.

Think abut the bigger picture and what you want out of life.

Looking forward to hearing what you think of the above.

Blue Jane

StressedReader · ‎01-08-2017

Hi Blue Jane,

I believe the pressure and stress is put on by myself and the school. Your advice has been something I have been thinking about for awhile. I know I need to make an effort in my social life, downtime and exercise. I know these things make me happy but sometimes I feel I am unable to do them. Mastering my stress is something I really want to learn how to do and I will put in the effort. I find meditation helps me a lot but I pushed it away. Right now I want to focus on my health and work to fix all the issues inside my head. I will start meditating regularly because of the trouble I have had breathing of late. I also really want to make an appointment with a therapist even if it's just a school counsellor but I have never done it before and don't know how to go about it. I really want to help myself but I'm scared.

MsPurple · ‎01-08-2017

Thanks for posting StressedReader

When I was doing year 11 I felt a lot of pressure to perform. My brother got unwell (mental health) in year 12 and had to reduce his subject load. He passed with an decent marking. I was worried about myself as I was starting to put a lot of pressure on myself and I wanted to be perfect. I then got a boyfriend in year 11 and I felt less pressure because I had some support. I then decided to try my best and to not overstress about my score. I told my mum and dad that I would rather get an average mark and be confident to go to uni then to be misserable get a high score and to not want to go to uni or anything due to being worn out. For me this was the best thing.

When I was younger I went to CAHMS team. I found seeing a psychologist was really hlepful in reducing my anxiety and stress around study. When I was studying at uni I decided to go to a youth mental health service. The one closest to me was headspace (national youth service). I found it really helpful for me and they helped me deal with stress and uni as well as my GAD. My friend went to the school counsellor and she found it really helpful.

MP

lucagabriella · ‎02-08-2017

Hi StressedReader

As a year 12 student surrounded by teachers counting down the days until the English exam (98 days! I think, I zone out), I 100% understand how you are feeling. The stress around school and getting that good atar is a whole issue in itself - I won't get into it for now.

The very very first thing I say is this; do NOT dedicate all your time to study. I really admire your desire to do well, and study is important, but do not make it your whole life. I cannot stress that enough.

Find something you love to do, actually make time to do the things you love, or better yet, find time to just sit back and chill. This is so crucial. In year 11, I played netball and soccer outside of school, and in year 12 I dropped netball, but I refused to drop soccer too. You need that time out, you cannot keep all your focus on one thing in life, and this I think applies to anything - not just study.

I understand why you want to sometimes not go out because of 'study'. I encourage you at least once a week to set some time to be with friends. At least once. I can't speak on your behalf, but I don't think I personally could forgive myself if I left all my friends just to 'study'. Your friends will be your life when exams are over. While school is important I refuse to let it ruin the things in my life that make me happy - I personally have come to accept that my score at the end of this year will not determine my success. There are ALWAYS ways around situations. If you don't get the atar you need for a course, I can guarantee you there is a way around it to get into that course. There are people around to support you.

I recommend seeing the school counselor. I know at my school, our counselor is available to those feeling stressed. They may be able to provide you with good coping mechanisms that will enable for you to deal with your stress better.

As the older sibling, I cannot totally fit myself in your shoes and understand entirely what it is to compare to an older sibling. The only advice I can say to that is to not do it, because you and your brother are two different people. That is easier said than done, but I think if you do talk to someone like the school counselor they can help for you to not so harshly critique yourself in comparison to your brother.

I bet my whole life there are things you are good at that he is not.

I hope this helped. If you need more advice feel free to ask - I am in a similar boat and understand.

- lucagabriella

StressedReader · ‎03-08-2017

MsPurple,

thank you so much for replying, it means a lot to me. Your advice on not overstressing your score and being confident in going to Uni has boosted my motivation a bit. I will definitely take what you've said into consideration as I'm highly interested in going to Uni and I want to have the motivation to go.

Thank you again,

StressedReader

StressedReader · ‎03-08-2017

Hi lucagabriella,

I cannot emphasise how much this post means to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It feels so relieving having someone in the same boat as me sharing their advice and things that work for them. Your advice has really motivated me to change my study habits. I understand that study and school is not the end of the world and I've been trying so hard lately to remember that.

I have booked an appointment with my school's counsellor and I will make sure that I discuss stress coping mechanisms and the pressure of my brothers success. It feels very uplifting having someone tell me that there are things I can do better than him, as this is something I have never thought of before. You are completely right.

Thank you so much for your advice. It truly has been helpful. Good luck in your last year of schooling and I hope you do well in your exams.

StressedReader

lucagabriella · ‎03-08-2017

StressedReader, I am very glad I was able to help - it's made me feel very warm inside knowing that someone found what I said was useful to them.

It isn't easy to change study habits and you may find yourself feeling stressed about school again (and I feel this will be most likely, I assume), and if that is the case feel free to post here again to vent, I am more than willing to listen because I totally get it - school can be absolutely crazy sometimes. However I am optimistic that the counselor will be able to give you some more specific advice that will benefit you even further for not just now, but for future stressful times also.

I hope the counselor will be helpful! Good luck with your own schooling journey 🙂

- lucagabriella

Cesca1557 · ‎25-08-2017

Hi StressedReader,

I feel like a lot of what you have just said resonates with my own experience. I had high expectations of what I wanted to achieve (grades wise) at high school, and having a brother a year older than me who also got 98 atar, i felt like there was also a lot of pressure on myself to do just as well. In the end I decided that it wasnt fair on me to place so much pressure and stress of doing as well as him because we are very different people so shouldnt be compared to each other to that degree.
Year 11 and 12 can be incredible stressful as you are constantly told that you need to do well so you can get a good score, to go to a good uni, to get a good job etc. and it can feel quite overwhelming, as if so much is at state of a few exams.
The last few years of school are incredible important, but not just in terms of grades, these are the years where you strengthen friendships and form memories that you will have forever so try not to push people away if possible and try to make time to still see friends and relax. Its so important for your mental health to have that support system there for you, i'm sure that several other friends are also struggling with the stressors of school so if you feel comfortable talking about it, it might be a good idea to share to them how you are feeling.
The constant crying and difficulty focusing is something that I have been struggling with the past few weeks especially. I wish I could tell you how to help it but I actually am have difficulties finding something that helps myself.

I hope things get better for you soon, good luck with all your exams and enjoy the highschool experience while it lasts (im not at university and its not quite the same) , some of my favourite memories are from my school days!