What you just described is SO similar to what I feel, and have been feeling, for the past 2 or so years. I wish I could offer you some magical advice, but I haven't figured it out myself yet. I did however want to say you're not alone. I'm turning 21 this year, I'm in my second year of uni, my life is "good" but I'm so unhappy, and can't pick the reasons. I can't stand uni, I can't stand work, I can't cope with anything big. I have to start uni again this week after a long summer break, and it's destroying me. I'm not sure how to deal with it without just quitting uni, but I figured I'll figure it out somehow.
The one thing that keeps me going is my family and my partner, and my close friends. It took me almost a year of suffering through some serious depression before I finally told anyone. That person convinced me I HAD to tell my parents. Now I love my family, and they love me, and they've always supported whatever I want to do and have never done anything wrong by me. But they are all great at life, and they are all the kind of people that can just keep on going (I don't know how they do it). I ended up telling them I'd been to see a doctor after having some pretty negative thoughts and I had depression. They didn't really believe me at first, but after some scary close calls they realised it was serious. Since then, I've had my whole family for support. It takes off so much pressure knowing they know I'm down, and they can't help much, but them just knowing is less stress for me. If I have any advice what so ever, it's to tell someone. I know it's hard, and impossible and makes you feel crap, but it helps. It's not dramatic to feel this way (contradictory to what you and I feel), it's just that we're unwell. We didn't choose it, but now we're stuck with it.
I hope this helps, because even just reading your post knowing someone else is in the same boat as me, it's kinda comforting. Goodluck 🙂
