Struggling with depression

[Neko]

Everyday I get the same feeling; that I am worthless. It all started last year when one of my 'friends' started annoying me on purpose when we were playing a game. Later on she insulted me, and when I didn't reply, she called me a wimp for not being a true girl and standing up for myself. I told my other friends and they were mad at her for saying that, so they sided with me. A few days later we were playing a game when the girl comes up to us and starts talking with them. My friends started talking to her and ignoring me when I tried to ask them a question. 

After that I made a new group of friends and I felt better and didn't have anything to worry about. This year I failed in a lot of things, my report card, leadership positions and my hobbies. My best friend didn't hang out with me at all and I felt different in a bad way.I got stressed whenever we did a test and it got harder to get to sleep at night. The boy I have a crush on admitted to my best friend he liked her and now they are going out. It got harder to keep being myself because everyone found me annoying. I told my best friend I was feeling really depressed  and she supported me for a while but then told me she didn't want to support me until I felt better. The girl who bullied me started hanging out with my friends, and now, they would rather spend time with her then me. I made a lot of bad choices and now I feel like I don't have any friends. What should I do to start feeling better?

[geoff]

dear Neko, thanks so much for posting your comment on here and would like to welcome you with open arms.

All of these so called 'friends or buddies' are definitely not that, because they just join the crew and stick with them, because otherwise they themselves will be ostracised by the gang, so it's easier to be with them rather help you, so in other words they don't care about anybody unless the gang support them, and in your case they haven't, so you are left on your own.

The choices that you have made are not necessarily bad ones, it's just that you are trying to keep your 'friends', but unfortunately they don't have any worry for you, so now you are on your own at the moment, which is sad for you, but now you know who likes you, so never accept these people back in your life when your situation improves, because they have shown their true colours and are just as likely to forget about you again.

This is a very sad point in your time because you want support from either one of them or perhaps several of them, but now none of them will do this.

So now you have to take a step backwards and get the help that you need, and that's outside of school/uni and seek the assistance starting with your GP will now provide you with help, it's actually called our support system and this also includes a medicare plan set up by your GP.

These lots more that we can discuss here on this site so please continue to post, because you will have great support here, so I hope that you reply back to us. Geoff. x

[AGrace]

Hi Neko,

It's been a few days since your post so I just wanted to check in to see how things were going? Did you decide to go and see a GP?

Geoff provided some great insight in his post, and I support him in his idea of getting some professional support for your concerns. Let us know if you need help with this, Beyondblue have some resources available for young people and also a list of GPs should you require it.

I'm guessing you are a teenager, since you spoke of report cards. This can be a really tough milestone in life because we have all these different hormones racing through our bodies and sometimes they can make us quite sensitive to things that we would usually be able to cope with. Your friends and ex friends are committing acts of bullying, and although this is never ok it also tells you how little they deserve your friendship. In terms of friends I'd aim to make one friendship and build it so that it's really strong. Being friends with one person avoids the clicky mentality of groups - who as Geoff mentioned need strength in numbers in order to validate themselves.

I noticed that you didn't mention family in your post. Have you got parents or siblings who you are able to share your struggles with?

You also mentioned that you failed at a lot of things this year, what is your idea of failure? Are the expectations you are setting yourself realistic and achievable? I don't think we ever truly fail at things. Sure we make mistakes but even these are blessings because they help us learn and grow.

It's great that you've been able to reach out to us here and we're always here to listen and support you as best we can. I hope you will keep us updated, or even come back to get any questions answered.

AGrace