Stressful job / what to do / trying to conceive / lost and depressed.

[Shana_lee]

Hi all. I'm a 21 year old female trying to find my place in the world.

I'm wanting to hear from anyone with suggestions.

Basically i hate my job, to the point where it's severely impacting my whole life. i'm always miserable..

I'm always thinking about my job when im at home and i cant stop. i'm always looking for a new job but because i've had 7 jobs in 4 years im being a bit cautious because i dont want to keep swapping jobs all the time.

My current role is in finance/insurance in a car dealership, and to date it's the worst move i've made. Only reason i took the job is because my other role at coles was low hours and i was struggling financially. now i work 46 hours a week, have a high expectation to sell everyone finance/insurance which i cant do because i dont like pushing or objection handling. my results are poor and i'm at breaking point. 

I would love to just quit but financially it's not a great move for my partner and me. We have no debts and for 4 months we have been trying to concieve a baby. which makes it hard for me.

Not only do i hate my job, i feel like i'm failing at trying to become a mother. I know i really need to try to be in a good financial position for a child but at the moment i couldnt care if i lose my job tomorrow. i cry all the time and i cant stand being at work.

 Bare in mind, i currently live in a small town country mining town that is currently going through a huge downturn and jobs are getting made redundant every day. I want to really be able to show my partner i can be stable and finanially not have to rely on him.

I've been applying at jobs i think may suit me and that i'll be able to stay long term but i haven't heard anything back and im at breaking point with my job!

What would you do?  HELP!

[Neil_1]

Dear Shana Lee

Firstly, I’d like to wish you a warm welcome to Beyond Blue and to thank you for coming here and providing your post.

Ok, let’s look at some things here – you’re just 21 and you’re in work, which is great.  I know it’s not so great when it’s a job that you really dislike, but at least you’re also aware that being employed is a valuable thing.

The other thing you’re looking into is trying to seek out other employment – and there is nothing wrong with that – fully recommend that especially if you’re not happy where you currently are.   But you have mentioned about quitting and if that were to happen, that would drop your marketability for another job big time;  and I’m guessing you know that already anyway.

Now, you may have done this already, but is there any way that you could possibly speak with a supervisor there to possibly see if you can get some kind of assistance with doing your job;   or perhaps some suggestions from them, in being able to try different angles or approaches to clients?  Something that ‘someone who has been in the business’ a bit longer, they may have some tricks or tips to offer to help you with?   If you can find some assistance in this regard, it “might” help you with how you look upon the job.

I’m hoping that the other staff there are at least ok?

With regard to the baby side of things, sometimes these things can take a little time before it happens – so yeah, each person is different – each couple is different.   Coming from someone much older, I say, “enjoy the times that you’re having in trying to have one”.  🙂

Kind regards

Neil

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Shana lee,

Welcome to BeyondBlue and thanks for reaching out.

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time right now.  It sounds like it's all been pretty rough and I know how hard job searching can be.  I also sympathise with you trying to conceive and it sounds like you are under a lot of stress right now.

But I also know that you are not a failure.  When you have this baby, you'll be a great mum - because you'll love it and take care of it in the best way that you know how.  Not having a job does not make you a failure.

Do you know what sort of job you want?  Are there many opportunities out there?  There are a couple of things that I can suggest:

1.  Tailor your resume.  7 jobs in 4 years is only bad if you make it look bad.  If you use your resume to show how much you've learned from each job and all those transferable skills (things like customer service from Coles) that you can move on to the next position.  It might even help to get some help from a job agency to see if there's anything that they can help you with in terms of improving your cover letters or interview skills.  Whenever you get rejected for a job, ask why. This can help you improve for next time.

2. Outsource. This may mean Centrelink to help you get on your feet while you are job searching.  It may mean looking at study options if that's what you are interested in. You could study online if going to a campus is impossible - you can do this full time or part-time too.

3. Talk to your manager.  I'm guessing from your post that you both know this role is not right for you, but maybe they can help fit you into another role that's not focused so much on selling/KPI's.  They also might have other options like training to help you grow into another role that can be a better fit for you.

I hope this helps.

Take care. 🙂

[Narniakid]

Hi Shana lee, welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing with us.

I'm sorry to hear you're not coping with your current occupation, however hang in there while you look for alternative arrangements. I agree with what Neil1 and romantic_thi3f have suggested in tailoring and re-doing your resume, and perhaps speaking to a recruitment consultant - my partner is a recruitment consultant and he helps clients not only land jobs, but figure out a client's interests and make a longer-term career plan. 

Definitely consider studying online - as I'm in a rural area too, I do most of my education online, both free and paid short courses. Google Open2Study for some really great free short courses in all sorts of subjects to help spice up your resume.

You could be eligible for some help from Centrelink, so I suggest looking into that as well. Talk to your manager to see about other roles available. Most importantly, stay strong and keep looking and applying for other jobs. You have to be in it to win it, they say, and someone WILL give you a chance - you won't be stuck in this situation forever!

Crystal

[morgs29]

Hi Shana lee,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for reaching out to us. It's not always an easy thing to do and it takes a lot of courage!

I'm so sorry to hear you are miserable with your job. We have all felt this way at some point in our lives and it can be a really hard thing to go through - especially when we feel trapped and like we don't have any other available options.

It sounds like there's quite a few things to think about here. From where I'm sitting, it sounds like you are in a job that may not suit your personality. You mention how you hate pressuring people and the job you're in focuses on exactly that! Have a step back and think about what you love to do. It can be anything! Where can you visualise yourself working? What steps would you need to take to get there?

In terms of seeking out other options, I totally take your point of not wanting to move around too much. This is where there are some other options you can explore: speaking to your manager; looking into getting Centrelink assistance (they can help you to find new employment, if that's what you decide you want to do]; and speaking with your partner at home about the baby situation.

It sounds like you have a lot going on and feeling a lot of pressure. Can you have a chat with your partner about whether now is the right time to be thinking about babies; whether you want to be focusing more on yourself - getting yourself to a better place in yourself so you feel happy and safe to do so? I can't tell you what the answer is but know that you do have options 🙂

Everything doesn't have to happen all at once, and sometimes we can really overwhelm ourselves thinking it does. You are a young lady, 21 years old, and it sounds like you are very driven to do what's best for you and your family. This is a fantastic thing and shows you have a lot of motivation to seek out what's right for you in life.

You can always reach out to us here for support and advice. Best of luck, and don't forget to do what you feel is best for you first.

Take care,

Morgan