lately my life has been quite hard, i had a recent, major fight with my dad which has been causing me a lot of stress, saddness and grief, considering we have an extremely limited relationship. Im currently in year 12 and the constant demand to keep your grades high while eating well, staying fit and socialising has all become to much. my work life has suffered so badly, i had to take a month off because i am fighting with a boy who was saying rude and derogatory comments to me and because i have no motivation to do anything, this has also left me with a lot of financial stress. Lately simple mundane tasks like getting out of bed, going to play sports, going outside just to do anything seem unbearable. At night time i fluctuate between oversleeping, to getting around an hour a night. My muscles in the left side of my body are in constant pain and my throat feels like it has a tight ring around it. My mother lives in a different state to me and the separation is extremely hard to deal with, but i am also separated from my sister and step sisters. If i could describe my current feelings, it would be that i have no desire to engage in life anymore. I sometimes barely eat and then the next day i will eat so much i'm sick. Im not sure whether at the moment all i'm experiencing is a build up of emotions or grief but it is becoming unbearable. I don't want to do anything, or see anyone. I have been googling my symptoms and the most relative is atypical depression, which relates to every aspect of how i am feeling, however i don't consider myself depressed. I do not know what to do currently but i do know that my mental state and well being is dropping significantly. Also i have so much stress at the moment because of all of this. To be honest, i have no idea how to handle my current feelings, i don't know whether i'm depressed or being irrational but old issues like my parents divorce, which happened in 2012, have started to upset me again. Lately i have no motivation to do anything but stare and watch the world pass before me, if anyone could give me any advice on what i'm feeling and how to handle it i would greatly appreciate it xx
