Someone save me

[Edith]

Ok so I'm 21 and I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for well over 4 years now but recently it has gotten worse. I spose you might have to no my story to understand me.

When I was 10 my step father started sexually abusing me. This went on until I was 16, when my mother walked in on it. My mother talked me out of calling the police. She stayed with this man and kicked me out of home probably 2 months later.

I lived in a youth hostel for 7 months before moving into a emergency housing with my girlfriend.

My mother stayed with my step dad for 4 years after finding out what he had done to me, until he started texting another women, that she left him over.

So after all this has been said and done, I'm now left unable to trust men, I suffer from agoraphobia and rarely leave house, because of which my sisters have decided that I don't care about them enough to visit and one even accused me of faking everything.

I have depression and anxiety and occasionally suffer from panic attacks. I have had multiple councilors but haven't found one I'm comfortable with, and I have called several more places and have been told id hear back from them soon but never did.

So I guess what I wanted to ask was how do I do this on my own? Is it even possible?

Sometimes I dont even think its worth trying, I can't do this anymore. I'm ready to give up.

[Jos]

Hi Edith,

I have just read your post, you have been through so much...this is a very good place for you to seek help, I have noticed that a lot of the posts are read and responded to under the 'depression' section and I am guessing this is why you haven't been responded too yet.

You need someone to talk to, the Beyond Blue team are there day and night to talk to, just go to the top and click the blue tab that says 'Get SUpport' and speak to someone to help you.

I am sending positive thoughts your way and hope that you keep posting - Jos 

[Stephen123]

Hi Edith, thank you for sharing your story with people that don,t have the first clue about dealing with child sexual abuse. You see I believe that this is an issue that has been trampled on for far too long. Even beyond blue cannot hold back the tidal wave that is about to be leashed upon society. Edith you have experienced the ultimate crime purpitrated upon you by a person that is lower than any life form. Please be strong and stand up against your attackers. Please hang in there! humanity will see its light and shine upon you. You are a victim or a survivor, please take your place in the line of survivors.

[Jo3]

Hi Edith

I am so sorry to read what you have been through.  I'm sending you a big hug.  Sexual abuse is the most horrible trauma a child can ever go through.  I know, I was sexually abused as a child 9-12 yrs by three different guys (neighbour, uncle and brother).  I understand what you're saying, but please don't blame yourself, you were the victim.

I can't believe how your mum could throw you out.  But I too was abandoned by my parents once i told them of the abuse.

It would be great if you can find a psych that can help you.  Give Beyond blue a call and they can help you.  

Please hang in there, you will get through this.  

Jo xx

[Neil_1]

Hi Edith

I just wanted to weigh in and say that I hope you don’t have to do this on your own … do you have a GP that you can go and talk too?  It’s really hard to find a good counsellor … and it’s a frustrating time as you try and delve into your past only to later realise that this person isn’t going to be a good match for you.  So then you go and try and track down another one.  That process is still worthwhile cause if you can eventually find a good one, it does help.  I found my one after I had a mental health plan completed with my GP.  It was then on a recommended basis and voila, it was ok.

I’m not saying that they can fix and help with everything;  it’s more like a solid sounding board and that if nothing else, you know that you’re not having to do this by yourself.

Please though if you feel that you would like to come back on here and post again, this is an incredibly supportive environment and though we’re not with you physically, we’re with you via keyboard and monitor.

Kind regards

Neil

[Peterr]

Hi Edith, I Assume that was not to easy to write out,Specially on a forum like this total strangers! I am so Amazed at just how many Girls and Woman have been through similar situations. And I am sure all you wanted and needed was a safe place to grow and be a kid.

IT ANGERS me this Man in the house took a role he had been given and ABUSED IT! instead of taking you in and treating you like a real Daughter! 

From what you said above Both YOU and your mum have wasted so much of Your lives because of one Person! Something i guess you already know.And forgive me for bringing it up!

And as bad as all the Past was, I sincerely HOPE that somehow someway your MUM and You will and wish to start over! A girl needs her mum 🙂 Granted ,And from what you say Your Mum owes you a Lot of patience ,Time and A very good EAR! as well as the Ability to admit her faults. 

She was the Adult in all this and its Your god given right to be HEARD!

As for Your "giving Up" NEVER Give UP! If nothing else you have youth on your side And you made a huge step coming HERE 🙂 remember "Tomorrow is a whole new day not even started yet!" 

Some one has taken something from you and it has seriously Affected your very Being, and will be with you forever sigh! All one can really suggest is to ..NO Matter the Odds look at tomorrow as a Brand new day and grow stronger and Better and show not just the world But YOURSELF! That you want and Need a Future,a Relationship and be a Woman to be reckon with!

As for Councillors etc I agree hard to find a good one But you need to find one.

There is a Lady in the Midland area If you live in Perth? i can suggest

And whats more she will still be there in a year LOL so many I found seem to disappear or move on! Nothing worse than having to start explaining EVERY thing all over again sigh.

Gosh I have gone on hey lol Point is I have a Daughter now 24 and I have seen fist hand what a Good A Parent can do for a Child! And I really do feel sad your family upbringing was messed up I sincerely mean that

Sorry if i came across firm or to harsh But in my view .FACTS,TRUTH,And COMMUNICATION ..= Conquering 🙂