Some advice on with a female

[hs5u]

 so this girl i have met at uni, we were in the same group project and one day started showing signs that she's into me.
And one day she invited me over to her party,
I guess I probably didn't do my part so well at the party, I got a little reserved and missed a lot of the chances to associate with her and actually I ended up just leaving after a few hours

I felt quite remorseful so I messaged her and told her I'm really sorry I left and she was like it's okay, and then i asked her out and her reply was "is there something particular you wanted to chat about". I first thought that was being more open but then in another WhatsApp group chat that we both were part of, she suddenly said something like "oh I can't make it to the group gathering because of work" and suddenly turned on the WhatsApp disappearing messages. I took these actions as being thrown at me because she didn't want to associate with me anymore. So on our 1 on 1 chat I kinda just rambled to get rid of my asking out message as a reply to "is there something particular you wanted to chat about".

And this morning I thought I might have made a mistake so I sent her another message asking "have i misunderstood anything".
She hasn't responded nor read with a blue tick both messages

• I guess this means she's no more wanting to get close?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

Dating means learning the hard way and you can avoid the hard way by asking others so im pleased you posted here.

Opportunities can be missed via many ways, misunderstandings, shyness even not wanting to reject and others. This is why asking someone out on a date is an art form. Eg is she really into me or just wanting more friends?, does she have a partner but isnt happy so when you do take a step she got cold feet and so on.

Therefore the best approach to make imo is - a compliment,  direct but subtle asking if shed make herself available for a date or just friendship. But then there is the friends first approach that some females prefer.

So you have to sense the best method of approach. But make it always clear and if she rejects a date then praise her for being honest and "then id really like to be friends and chat occasionally."

I hope that helps. 

TonyWK 

[hs5u]

I received a response from her after a few days saying she isn’t looking for anything beyond friendship and apologised if there had been any confusion.

Since then, I’ve felt very confused because of a number of interactions that, at the time, felt meaningful to me. There were moments in group settings where it seemed like she was trying to engage with me specifically — responding to things I said, aligning her comments with mine, or lingering after sessions ended when most people had already left.

There were also occasions in person where I noticed her making direct eye contact with me, even turning her body to face me, which felt intentional. I often looked away out of embarrassment or hesitation, but those moments stood out to me.

Because of all this, I interpreted these behaviours as signs of interest. Now that she’s clearly said she only wants friendship, I’m struggling to reconcile that with how things felt at the time. It’s left me questioning my own perceptions and wondering whether I’ve misunderstood similar interactions in the past.

I’m not trying to pursue anything with her anymore — I’ve accepted her boundary — but this experience has shaken my confidence in how I interpret social and romantic cues. I’m left wondering whether I’ve been misreading situations my whole life, especially moments involving eye contact or subtle engagement with women, which I previously assumed carried mutual meaning.