Social phobia - do I really need a diagnosis to get better? :/

[Just_some_weird_chick]

Hi,

Warning; migraine induced rant.

I've never spoken about my feelings with anyone before, so this is a little bit hard for me. I hope it all makes sense.

A friend shared a SAD link on Facebook last week and almost everything in the article related to me. I did a bit of research and I'm pretty sure I've had SAD my whole life. Every article I've read has suggested getting a diagnosis. I want to listen to this advice, but I've spent three days worrying about how and why to get a diagnosis and now I've given myself a migraine over it.

I'm an unemployed uni student so I can't afford to go to a psychologist. I live in a small town, too, so I'd be worried someone would see my car parked there.

I don't know if a GP is the right person to go to, either. I keep worrying that they'll tell me I don't have SAD and to just live with it, or that I need to see a psychologist for a diagnosis, or I won't even be able to speak to the doctor once I get in there; that has happened before. The website for the GP doesn't say which docs are bulk billing and which aren't, so I'll have to call to make an appointment. I tried to call today, but couldn't make myself do it.

I'm not entirely sure I have SAD. I avoid situations where I'll be invited to social events (if that makes sense), but if I'm invited to an event I almost always go with only a little anxiety beforehand - although I always regret it as soon as I'm there and lose sleep over it for at least a week afterwards. I have never been able to have a normal conversation with anyone except my mum and one particular friend (my only friend). I can get really anxious about things I do all the time, like going to the shops or gym, but I can make myself go 98% of the time. I can answer the phone, but that's because the fear of answering isn't as great as the fear of calling them back.

I know a lot of people with SAD have the same dilemma and I'm not alone (although it feels like I am). But do I really need a diagnosis to start 'getting better'? Now that I'm (pretty) sure I have it, can't I just deal with it and fix it alone? I'm tired of living like this, but just can't make myself get help.

[stormcloudz]

Oh wow, I ask myself the same question. Does it help to have a label, or does that just make me focus on symptoms more? Does it even matter which diagnosis? Etc etc.

In the end, I've decided that it's helpful to have a diagnosis as that gives you the best chance of getting the most appropriate treatment approach....but the label never describes the whole person.

I think it's hard to just treat ourselves, because we need someone outside ourselves to help us understand our thinking patterns.

But there is an good option for you - there is an online treatment programme set up by St Vincents hospital. It's cheap and all you need is a computer. There is a specific programme for social anxiety too. Just find thiswayup.org.au

Let me know what you think of it!

In the meantime it would still be worthwhile to go to a local GP or psych. Some tips:

- park the car a couple of blocks away and walk in (if someone sees you walk in,well, lots of people get support)

- the GP can get you access to cheaper counselling (10 visits over a year), so it may be worth visiting the GP.

- it sounds like you are pretty clear you have SAD, and if the GP tells you to live with it, ignore them and move on

- try calling the BeyondBlue helpline for tips, they may have some ideas (contact details on this website)

- remember most GPs have seen this all before

Sorry it took a while to get a response, I do hope you are still there : )

You are tired of living like this, so it's definitely time for a change.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Just_some_weird_chick,

A gentle welcome to the forums 🙂

I think, especially as you sound like a private person, that opening up here was very brave. It couldn’t have been easy for you...

You sound so on edge and nervous, which is clearly taking its toll on you emotionally and socially. That must be very exhausting...

My personal thoughts on diagnoses is it’s less about the “label” (so to speak) and more about the diagnosis acting as a guide for creating a treatment plan for you.

Finances are understandably a consideration...if you’re at uni, sometimes there are on-campus GPs and mental health professionals (counsellors, etc) that can give you free or bulk billed services. Perhaps that’s something you could look into...

About GPs, I hear what you’re saying about your reservations and I get where you’re coming from. That being said, I still feel they are a good “gateway” to receiving mental health support.

If you book an extended appointment with a GP, you can discuss the possibility of a mental health treatment plan, and getting a referral to more specialised help e.g. a psychologist, etc. Your mental health plan entitles you to a number of subsidised/Medicare rebatable visits to a psychologist, which will help reduce the financial burden of seeking help. It’s up to you but maybe it’s something you might like to think about...

If you feel like talking some more or venting is good too, feel free to make good use of this thread. As I said, you’re most welcome here.

Kind thoughts,

Pepper

[Just_some_weird_chick]

Thanks Stormcloudz and Pepper for your responses. It was really helpful.

The online programs sound like they could be helpful, Stormcloudz. I will look into it. But at the same time, I'm not a fan of self-diagnosis, so I think I'll try to book a GP appt to maybe get a diagnosis before I start trying to fix the problem 🙂 Just need to get brave and book the appointment 😐

I'm not too worried about a label. When I read about SAD and tentatively decided that's what I have, I was quite relieved. I'd spent my whole life thinking this is just who I am. Now, there is a little bit of hope that I can be 'normal' (wish I could think of a better word to use). So I understand what you're saying about the label being a guide to getting better, Pepper.

My sister goes to a psych in the next town for her mental health issues. That could be an option for me too, I guess. I study online at an interstate uni because of my SAD (I'm way too afraid to move towns), so on campus options aren't available to me, unfortunately.

Feeling a bit better today. Your replies really helped. Thank you!

[Doolhof]

Hi Just_S_W_Chick,

Welcome to the community here. A diagnosis would be a good idea. I was told I have Borderline Personality a decade or so ago. It really helped me understand myself better and why I sometimes react the way I do.

Through some education on this issue, I have been able to change how I think and act and get on much better with life...and other people. Ha. Ha.

As mentioned already here, it does not have to be a label, it can be a tool and a way for better understanding and change.

Going to a different town for help might be beneficial if you are concerned others will see you.

I find that writing down how I am feeling helps me to sort out thoughts and emotions and helps me get to the bottom of issues a lot quicker. You could even write out information for the person you chose to go and see.

Do you have hobbies and interests that help to keep you busy and entertained? Distractions help at times.

Hope you find some answers, cheers for now from Dools

[stormcloudz]

So glad you are feeling a little better JSW Chick : )

Come back anytime and let us know how you go.