Social Anxiety - What goes on in your head?

[VeeTee]

Social Anxiety - you're scared of talking. The thing is - are the reasons close to the same?

I'll start off with why i'm so scared to talk to people.

I have this idea lingering in my head every time - they don't like me. I have close friends (they're the closest people to me anyways... Though my relationship with them is a bit different in a way. We have this private online chat group and I speak to them openly in there - we play games together, talk about like problem and they know I have a bad case of social anxiety. We're pretty close.

In school (We're currently in year 11), i'm just a shadow. I know (although for some reason when it comes to it - I won't know anymore) that they enjoy my company. They would be in a group talking to each other and i'll be wanting to go to them but I won't. I'm afraid. Once in a while they'll tell me to come - then I will. Otherwise, i'm sitting down staring at the floor, contemplating life.

Why?

I have this thought. I feel like everyone doesn't like me. By "doesn't like" I don't mean lowkey hate - I mean i'm just there. I feel like by going up to people and talking to them i'll make things awkward and not really do anything - be a hassle. I feel like they talk to me out of pity - "Damn, he's lonely. We'll be friends with him.", but they don't actually like me. My parents both cheat on each other so i sort of think they "fake" loving me because they can't just leave their kid. Sometimes I can't help but blame them for my problems - it's probably wrong to do so, but I can't help it. They don't let me go out so I can't get "closer" to my friends, which I feel could be another reason.

Those are my reasons, what're your reasons? Or reasons you think may "cause" social anxiety?

[VeeTee]

Sheesh, my brain went out of the roof, haha.

(they're the closest people to me anyways... -> (they're the closest people to me anyways...)

"about like problem" -> "about life problems"

Extremely sorry for this. Is there a way to edit your threads?

[kned]

I'm in my 30s and have had social anxiety since I was a kid. Well I'll say I was severely shy as a kid and it didn't really go away! Now as an adult, I have social anxiety.

I am, and have been, exactly like you. I've always felt like I'm the friend that hovers along after people and doesnt say much at all. But you know what? They're still in touch with me now many many years later so clearly they like me enough!

At uni, I made friends with a couple of people and over time I've realised who the true friends are. They seem to be the ones who stay around regardless of how much we say.

I'm still the quiet one in groups, but depending on the people involved and the situation, I can also be more confident and outgoing.

I had a perfectly normal upbringing, with perfectly normal parents so no idea where my social anxiety came from. Genetics I guess.

[Rabika]

I live in constant fear of embarrassment. Every morning I catch the train to work I can tell you ever stop between and how many minutes because I am in over drive. I put head phones in so loud to distract myself and play snake to avoid the realisation that I'm stuck on a train packed with people and I can not leave. I start to sweat and I can't breathe, I feel dizzy and feel so embarrassed that someone might notice. I need the bathroom and it's 8 minutes until I can leave. I'm lossing control of my body and I'm so embarrassed. I have a panick attack and I am shaking finally the door opens and I am at my stop. Overwhelming relief until 5pm when I need to get home and it starts all over again. I try to force myself everyday to push anxiety back and reclaim my life and I think I can until I do. I get ready to go shopping with my fiancé and am happy to get out of the house we get in the car discussing what we will shop for then I suddenly feel violent I'll. my stomach turns I'm sweating and I feel like I can't breath. He is mad and tells me it's in my head but I can't move. I want to jump out of the car. I don't care about my safety I just know I need to get out. We argue I cry and resign myself back to being a hermit.

I can't escape it. I just want it to be over.

[Sophie_M]

Hi VeeTee, thanks for posting again, but we really need you to keep to one thread per topic please.  

As we mentioned to you a week ago, you already have a thread open on this topic, and starting up new threads on the same topic spreads replies all over the forum and makes it really difficult for our community to provide support.

Thanks for your understanding and help on this.  Here is a link again to the original thread so you can continue this conversation - there's an unanswered reply in there from one of our members who has provided you support too:

Another anxiety problem or is this normal?