School Stress

[Shelbelle]

I am only in year 8 this year but every I am still so stressed. Every 2 weeks we have a maths exam. They go towards our grade so I can't screw up. Most people say oh it's not that hard, don't worry it's only year 8. The thing is though I am doing year 10 maths making it even more difficult.It is one of the most stressful things ever. We now have to do 8 modules and each take roughly and hour and a half and this week we only have 1 maths lesson rather than 5, due to public holidays, school events and excursions. I have 3 maths lessons next week and I have currently done 2. We use an online program called Maths Pathways and anttime I have a question for the teachers they just tell me oh watch the video, that makes me think or something similar. I cry almost every weeks from stress and anxiety on this and passing the test. The worst part is when I get an A on my report card it is always why didn't you get an A+ there is still room for improvement. There is no emotional support from my mum and I will tell her I need mental help and she just says it's just a phase you are fine. I have been really struggling because I have no friends and no support from the school or my family. I hope someone can relate and if you do get help at school. Talk to a counciler or a trusted teacher. 

[Bob_22]

Hi Shellbelle,

It sounds like you are under immense pressure and are feeling very stressed understandable. I'm sorry you're in this position and I hope you know it doesn't need to be this difficult for you. As you suggested, yes it would be great to talk the school counsellor or trusted teacher but it sounds like you are not getting much support. Have you considered approaching your local headspace? They are a free mental health service for young people who offer professional support at a single centre location. You can find your closest headspace here: https://headspace.org.au/headspace-centres/ You can go by yourself and everything is completely confidential. Alternatively they also run online groups which you can see here: https://headspace.org.au/online-and-phone-support/join-the-community/ 

Hope this helps a little bit. Please keep us update and take care of yourself. Year 10 maths is very difficult compared to year 8 so don't expect too much of yourself. There are also tutorials about different math topics up to HSC level on youtube which are much easier to follow than some of the school given ones.

Bob

[sbella02]

Shelbelle,

Thank you so much for reaching out here, it's good to hear from you. I was a lot like you when I was in school, just reading through your experience. I was put in a higher maths class as well, and I can remember feeling like I wasn't meant to be there because there was so much content, and it wasn't necessarily easy stuff. Your feelings are valid, please know. 

I can't count the number of times I've heard something like "it's only year 8, it's not that hard". Curricula are in place for certain age groups for a reason, and it can feel very invalidating to hear that the work you're doing is "easy" because for you (and I would say for most people in your class) it isn't, and it isn't meant to be either. Here's a lovely quote that I don't have the origins of unfortunately:

If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you.

The work that you're doing - particularly year 10 maths at a year 8 level, outstanding achievement by the way - is meant to be difficult, because staying in our comfort zones in the classroom inhibits our learning. Albeit, there is a difference between something being "challenging" and "unbearable", and it sounds to me like this has reached an unbearable level for you, which I can understand. 

I had a maths tutor throughout much of my high school life, and she helped a lot. Would you feel comfortable asking your teacher if there's a former student, or even current student in a higher grade, who they would recommend to tutor you? If you start with this, you may find that this can lift some of your stress.

An A is a brilliant grade, far above what is expected of you. For high-achieving students in particular, it can feel very invalidating to receive a grade less than what you were expecting, even if it is still a high grade. If you've done the best that you could with the resources, time, and mindset that you had, this is all you can ask of yourself. Be kind to yourself. You're still learning, and you're definitely not expected to have all the answers at this stage. 

How are you feeling now? Does any of this resonate with you? Please keep chatting with us if you'd like, we'd love to hear more from you. 

Take care, SB

[sbella02]

Shelbelle,

I will also recommend an absolutely brilliant resource that I used when I was in high school called "Khan Academy". There are videos on this site, but they'll talk you through maths problems and solutions in a very elegant, easy-to-digest way. I can't recommend them enough. 

You can find them here:

https://www.khanacademy.org/

As Bob_22 has said, there are thousands of YouTube videos out there too, for pretty much any topic you can think of, and some will have example problems and worked solutions for you. 

We're here for you. SB