Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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I don’t know what’s wrong

replies: 4

I don’t even know where to really start, my parents are getting divorced after being seperated for a few years and it still hurts so bad, that’s only the base line of my problems. I get caught up on such dumb stuff and it gets to me, every day is a struggle. I don’t want to get up out of bed, I just want to lay down and not wake up. I have issues with my relationship with my parents and school problems. They seem so minor but just keep piling up on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’m so sad all the time, I hate it. It doesn’t make sense.

how do I improve my self image?

replies: 1

hi, I'm kinda struggling with self esteem and confidence at the moment. i do consider myself as being overweight and it is a big part of my insecurities. I do want to lose weight in a healthy way but I do kinda fall into depressive states where I can't do anything and I just binge eat. I am a sporty person, I play basketball and am considering doing some boxing. I don't know how to stay motivated and make progress. In general if anyone has any tips on how to be happier with myself and everything else that would be great.

I’m having trouble with friends.

replies: 2

I hope this is the right place to put this. Sorry if it’s not. I’ve been having issues with friends recently and i need help. This will be in two parts based on whether i consider something to be more of me or them. Some extra info: i’m a teenage girl. I know there’s a lot of stereotypes about people my age, but stereotypes exist for a reason and maybe i’m just being silly. So recently i’ve been feeling uncomfortable around a group of friends i’ve had for the past few years. As of writing this the two week holidays are in two days and i’m hoping they’ll fix some things, but here’s some reasons i thought of that may relate to why i’m uncomfortable around them: Me: I’m noticing little things about them that are getting more and more on my nerves. I know this sounds selfish but whenever i find something new to enjoy like a tv show, one friend likes to start watching it too and finishes it before me. Again i know it sounds stupid but i feel like i can’t have anything for myself. This is specific to only a few people but i’ve had some bad experiences with some of them. The first time i met one of them he threatened me. He has also told me in the past that i can’t be sad because i haven’t experienced his life. And when i came out as aromantic to another of them, he told me i just hadn’t found the right person yet. Them: it’s obvious who they value most as a friend in the group. When he’s not where he usually is they’ll call him and ask where he went, but when i’m missing nobody cares. I’m sure anyone would say it’s a bad feeling. I think i need some time away from them, but the one who causes the most discomfort is in five of my eight classes, and sits next to me in most of them. They’re also right next to where i sit for lunch and recess, and i feel like i can’t get away. I know this stuff all sounds really insignificant but it’s been piling up and i don’t know what to do. Even if nobody has any idea as to what i should do, it felt good to just be able to tell someone.

Chronic illness while being young

replies: 2

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it... View more

trauma-induced self-sabotaging tendencies are affecting my relationship again. Help?

replies: 2

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support from my boyfriend at the time, but would have a mental breakdown every time I tried to break up. After dating for a total of almost 2 years, we broke up. Despite this, I don't resent him at all. We were young and it was both our first relationship. We grew so much from it. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, and he would say the same. I've received closure and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. We're still good friends. Nevertheless, the trauma of being alone through the darkest time of my life is still there. It's been years and I still can't fall out of self-preserving patterns of self sabotage. It mostly affects my romantic relationships. All the ones I've had since my first boyfriend, in fact. I'd always try to "quit while I'm ahead" to keep them from hurting me, or vice versa. I'd drop everything at the first sign of things not working out. I've been dating my current boyfriend since the start of 2019. He has the most beautiful heart. He's caring and empathetic and funny and passionate and smart and selfless and genuine. He's my best friend. He's stuck by me through my many depressive seasons and countless self-sabotaging episodes. We've taken breaks to see other people or work on ourselves since then, but we always came back to each other. I really could not ask for someone more supportive. I've improved a lot over the years, but self-sabotaging tendencies have started emerging again with my recent depressive episode and the nearing of the HSC. Whenever he chooses studies over me, I feel I'm a hindrance to his goals. When he chooses me over studies, I worry that he's sacrificing his grades out of worry for me. He's trying to balance both, and would do so effortlessly if I wasn't so problematic. I've started to distance myself from him, a common self-sabotaging reaction of mine. I'm afraid this dynamic will continue into uni, especially since he's planning on studying a pretty strenuous degree. I don't want to be a liability. I don't want to ruin things again. We've talked about this. He's as supportive and reassuring as usual, and we've thought of some strategies together. But I want to try harder, because I know it's a me problem. Suggestions? Tips + tricks? #Epic life hacks?

Assumptions causing trouble

replies: 6

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally has snap map on and I can not longer see her on snap, my brain naturally goes "well clearly she just turned it off for you specifically" but in reality, it is something like her location might just be off on her phone. To be clear, I have no reason to think why she would turn of GPS for me but my brain instantly goes there. This is a major issue I am trying to solve, I am blessed with being self-aware but it doesn't make getting rid of the issue any easier it seems. The reason for needing to fix this is it has caused and is causing friendships to be lost and reputations destroyed. Any tips are appreciated.

Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?

replies: 2

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult. For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university). I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though. The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity. Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.

Parents comparing me to others

replies: 2

I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't seem to say it out loud. I feel so ashamed of being myself, they rarely acknowledge my achievements only my failures and mishaps - it's gotten to the point that I'm never satisfied about my achievements and I know in the back of my head that it's wrong. I am currently living with them, can't move out. I'm 18 and just entered uni. I've never seen a therapist because my parents don't approve of them and my friends aren't the type to talk with me about this problem. I've asked God many times to help relieve me of this pain but I guess they have also turned their backs on me... I feel so lonely. Really, I do. I don't even know what to ask on this forum other than, has anyone gone through this before and how did they overcome this? Ofc there isn't a fixed solution in life, but I feel like talking to others in similar situations may help me feel less lonelier I guess. Thank you, this is my first time doing something like this so it feels a bit weird

Help?

replies: 5

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either laugh at me, say I'm faking, or say it's not a big deal. I think I'm gonna give up soon. Also, sometimes randomly, when I'm having a serious conversation, I accidentally think about my teacher, or parent, or friend, or anyone having sex, or getting hurt. So to stop thinking about it, I think about someone else, but it backfires, an now I'm thinking about even worse things happening to them. Oh no! What if they can read my mind, and they know that I'm thinking inappropriate thoughts about them! stop thinking about it, or I'll get in trouble! also, "I think I'm depressed! Nah nevermind. I'm faking, I just think I'm depressed, so when someone reads my mind, they also think I'm depressed. No that's stupid! People can't read minds! I need mental help. No I just thought that so when they read my mind, they will believe me, and give me attention." And that cycle of thoughts keeps repeating, like reverse reverse reverse reverse phycology.

very lucky but never happy?

replies: 6

I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I often find myself very miserable and feeling very lonely despite my friends im not diagnosed with depression, I’ve never even been to a psychologist, I just think it could possibly be this. I cant really think of a good cause for any of this. My gran passed away about 1-2 months ago and while we knew she didn’t have too much longer I was upset at first, but since the first day I haven’t felt anything and I feel guilty for that, she lives on the other side of the globe and that’s probably why. I don’t think it has too much to do with it though. I can only else think of maybe the amount of assignments that I’ve had homework in the last week, maybe my lack of concentration in the last few months, particularly the fact I often feel lonely - my other friends either have a reasonable social life and they’ve had a boyfriend or whatnot, or theyre introverted and fine being alone, I’ve got a fairly sizeable social life and I often recognise people in the street but I haven’t found anyone who really seems to care about me much. This also makes me feel like maybe I have a bad personality or I’m ugly kind of a rant, there’s more about my friends and the loneliness but I don’t want to drag this on, I rlly don’t know what to say

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

I don’t know what’s wrong replies: 4

how do I improve my self image? replies: 1

I’m having trouble with friends. replies: 2

Chronic illness while being young replies: 2

trauma-induced self-sabotaging tendencies are affecting my relationship again. Help? replies: 2

Assumptions causing trouble replies: 6

Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner? replies: 2

Parents comparing me to others replies: 2

Help? replies: 5

very lucky but never happy? replies: 6