Hi jorj kate,
Thank you for your post and welcome. I can completely relate to this post, however, it is with my current boyfriend. In the middle of our relationship I began to question my feelings for him, but knew that I loved him. My anxiety always spike when around him, and it got to a point that I could not be around him because everytime I did I would have a panic attack. To help me clear my mind, he suggested to write down what is causing the anxiety. Alike to your husband, my boyfriend was very patient and understanding.
By writing down or brainstorming what was making me feel anxious around him it helped me by noticing that the things I was worrying about were not as extreme as I was reacting.
I am so sorry you are feeling joyless in your relationship. By possibly trying new activities together, it will take your mind off of things and show that you do have fun with them. For example, telling yourself that for tonight you are going to push all your feelings aside and just go bowling. You will find that you do have fun with your husband still!
When we start to focus on all the things we are not feeling, we dismiss the things we are feeling. We begin to compare our relationship to the thrilling start of a relationship, and are saddened by the fact that the relationship has changed. But possibly your relationship has entered a new stage.
You are not alone and a 5 year marriage stage is common to start to overthink a relationship.
Would love to hear from you x
