School related stress

[Dejena]

Hi, i would like start of by saying, i dont know what im doing. i dont even know where to start because of how overwheamed i feel. how to i express my feelings without complaning? i dont want to compalian. so, its currently 4:33 AM and am trying to do homeowork. You may be wondering why? why at this time? well, i will tell you. its becuase the day is not for me. do u know why? its because during the day the house is loud. if i wear my headphones my ears will hurt and i will get fustrated at the noise. i also need to do chores. i dont know what im even saying. i dont even know why im writing and posting this. this just sounds silly. you know, i went to the doctor becuase my chest was hurting, and they said it was becuase of panic attacks, and that i was shaking, high blood pressure, and heart beating fast. but now im wondering if the doctor was wrong, what if it wasnt because of stress? what if it was becaue of the mask i wore for hours at school, not compaing for wearing a mask by the way. During the day my family will come into my room and intrupt me, while i try and do homework. sometimes i fell bad for taking long oding homework, and i wonder if im actullay learning something. i feel like im not good enough. if i go to the libray my parens will be annoyed at the face they have to pick me up and drop me off. i am doing 3 science subjects. i dont really like phyics or doing particularlly well it in it, so i want to change it do HHD, but then there is something in me, saying what if i will able to do phyics and not fail, and if i drop phyicis that not good enough, im not good enough, i am worthless. at the same time i dont like phyics. IDK. tell me, am i overreacting. You know, after that doctors apointment, i cried in the car, while my dad was in it, because i felt like i was crazy and out of control. alsot the doc said i was skinny, hoever i have allways been ksinny, no matter how much i eat i dont gain weight and i also look younger than i really am. when i have a break from doing homeowrk, i struggleto go back to my desk and get going with it after my break, i stat to procarte and how longer breaks. after i do chores, i dont feel lie doing homework sometiemes. idk if its sbecause maybe i found doing the chores as a btter option than doing homeowkrk. i feel out of control. its currently 4:50 AM. what has my life become? idk?

[Here2Talk]

I have some ideas of you'd like? Run out of words - I have definitely written too much!! Haha. Pls don’t worry about writing too much 🙂


I don’t mind if you want to mention that I’ve given you ideas in the letter, if you think that would be appropriate and help things go more smoothly and wouldn’t lead to any conflict with your parents.
So the way I see it, most people go to their GP to get a referral to a clinical
psychologist. Sometimes a GP will also prescribe medication to make you feel a little less on edge and maybe control your mood. This your choice though!


So I think you could tell them that you have been experiencing very distressing levels of anxiety, possibly some depression thrown in there now too- and that the distress is so bad that you can’t concentrate on school and you’re afraid you’ll fail. I assume they know that you’ve missed exams???


if this is the case, then could they have a confidential chat to the teacher/s about your circumstances and whether you could be given another go at assessment or a make up assessment or something else (leave that to your parents and teacher to figure out).


Now this next point don’t worry about till later, but I know you seem to be always worrying about the future so you’ll probably think about it anyway so I’ll just put it here anyway. Maybe they could figure out some kind of space and time for you to - after things have settled down - study in peace eg stay at a room after school, or the library that you said they give you an annoyed look picking you up from, but with a discussion between you both that it’s okay and that you deserve it.
I hope some of these messages are of use to you. Just know that all is not lost, and that the only thing to think about atm is catching up on lost ground, and that you are a person who is not worthless, is worth a lot, and that people are here to support you.


Let me know your thoughts Dejena, when you’re comfortable enough to.
Take care.

[Here2Talk]

Just to let you know, this last message I wrote spun out to 2 posts - one is at the end of page 2 and the second went to the top of this new page

[Sophie_M]

Hi Dejena, This is the moderation team from the Beyond Blue forums. We have just read your thread and are concerned about your wellbeing. We hope you don’t mind us getting in touch with you here. Battling with suicidal thoughts can be painful and isolating and we strongly encourage you to reach out to our counsellors. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.  Our friends at Lifeline are also available anytime on 13 11 14 or you can visit https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat for online chat.  Suicide Call Back Service are also available 24/7 on 1300 659 467 or you can visit their website for online chat: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/  We understand this is such a difficult time for you, and we think you are so brave for reaching out here. Please know that you don't have to go through this on your own, and we would really like to speak to you over the phone to talk through some support options Warmest Regards, Mod Support.

[Dejena]

I have failed unit 1 English. I will be failing unit 1 art, bio, and chem too

[Here2Talk]

I’m sorry to hear that my dear..

Where are you at regarding writing a letter to your mum? From what we’ve discussed it really sounds like you need some help. This is perfectly okay. I had to when I first started university as I couldn’t handle by myself and friends and family couldn’t help either.

Please give it a serious thought. I’ll even help you write it if you would like- you can even mention me if you want (or not- this space is for you to help cope with life).

Thinking of you.

[Here2Talk]

Still thinking of you, please come back and talk anytime if you want to, always here to help.

[Dejena]

Hi, thank you for thinking about me.

I am getting better.

I have this issue where I don't want to do homework at home, I only like doing it at the library. So I have been going to the library, however feel bad for making my mum drop me off and pick me up.

do u think I have low confidence. I always doubt myself and talk negatively. I am not sure.

[Here2Talk]

Maybe you have low confidence. A lot of people do, and this world seems to encourage people to expect too much from themselves. From some of the stuff you have said I sense that you worry a lot about your studies and the future in general, and attach all these conditions to your worth as a human.

I’m glad you are getting better. Have you been talking to your mum about how you’ve been feeling?

[Dejena]

I'm better, so I don't really need to talk to my mum.

I had a good day today. I went to the library and my friend's house too.

[Here2Talk]

Okay, that’s good that you had a good day. Allow yourself to go to the library when you need to, even if it’s an inconvenience to your parents - you have a right to study and you are a human that deserves that...

What are your plans/thinking around the subjects? Have you discussed your grades with anyone??