When I was younger, I was physically bullied a lot. I had the mindset that no one would believe me if I told them that a 12 year old was physically attacking a 6 year old, so I pretended everything was fine and forced out a lot of emotions, pretending to be happy. I told people that I had no idea where my bruises, scars and cuts came from, and they just shrugged and said, "ok then". Until one day when I was 9. I was in music, we were sitting in a circle so everyone could see everyone else, and this guy. He physically assaulted me. But what hurt most, was when I decided to tell mum what actually happened. She just chuckled, pegged it on my imagination and showed my (mind you, impressive) bump to her friend. So I started repressing everything. I lost my temper a lot, and didn't like interacting with people, apart from toxic friendships that I forced myself into thinking I would be safer like that. It also didn't help the whole repression thing when mum said I couldn't listen to Lady Gaga music just because she was part of the LGBT community. I'm lesbian, so it made me more scared to share things. Now, I'm pretty messed up. I still get blamed for my temper, and when I told mum the full truth about my bullying problems she yelled at me for "not trying to tell her sooner". I have several anxiety and depressive disorders now, as well as psychotic depression and almost PTSD. I don't think I can officially call it that though. I sometimes act like a psychopath, and all because no one ever believed me. So uhh yeah.
