Pushing people away?

[jessica1]

Hello, I'm new to this Forum so I'm hoping this goes okay. I've suffered with severe anxiety and depression since I was around 8 years old and I'm currently 20. I feel so alone, I can't do things like I used to. I get extreme anxiety with some of the smallest things like catching a public bus or chucking rubbish in a bin in front of someone. I have good days and extremely bad ones like today. I do things I don't understand myself, like pushing people away. I push the closest people away and try to avoid them without even realising I'm doing it, and then it's too late. I don't feel judged with these people and no thoughts go through my head to make me do this. I just don't understand, once it ends up happening I end up feeling even more alone then ever and I never have anyone to be there for me because I manage to push them away and they just give up. It's been happening for years and it's a continuous cycle that just repeats. I've seen various councillors and psychologists and nothing has helped. Does anyone else do this or have done so in the past? Thank you for your time.

[Jacko777]

Hi jessica1,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I am glad you are talking about this cause I can see how this would make you feel sad and regretful. I think the main thing is that you keep pushing on with your recovery from anxiety and depression, never give up trying to find a path of recovery that brings you closer to happiness and calmness. It's not your fault that you push people away Jessica, it's part of your condition and let's hope you can change this.

Meanwhile, you can't push us away, we know what you are going through and we won't go away, we love you. Big hugs. Talk any time.

Jack

[_NaturalTalent_]

Hi Jessica,

Yes I used to be like this. I was extremely bad, could never be alone in public without having anxiety attacks or just giving up trying to do something.

Im 26 now and that changed with support awhile ago, the people around you can help build up your confidence again, if you let them, that's the key thing, wanting to change.

Everybody says the same thing, ofcourse I want to change, but you need to prove it, to yourself as much as anyone else.

You start small though and build your way up. When your anxiety goes 'Do you really want to do that?' Push that away and just do it. You will see the outcome is usually not as bad as you imagined, which gives you the confidence to try it again in the future, it all gets easier the more you do it..

With the pushing people away, you need to work on recognising when your starting to do it so you can catch yourself, alternatively explain a little of your situation to some people and ask then to pull you up on it when your being overly defensive etc.

Also, you need to lower the stress associated with everything, I want you to look into this: "Creative/Expressive Therapy" Its something you can do alone or with friends/family as their are a lot of different things to choose from.

Please look into it, it really is a good practise for anyone...