ongoing career dilemma

[continuousventer]

Hi beyondblue community,

2020 was difficult and good to me at the same time. I ended up having to drop a unit because of the emotional abuse I got at home from my mum. And then I failed a unit and was placed on conditional status. Conditional status means that I can still study my degree. However, if I fail 50% or more of my course load, I will get terminated from my OT degree. My main problem was not practicising enough for a must pass exam.

During the holidays, I have been making the pros and cons for my OT degree. It is a AQF 8 qualification. I was told by the accessibility officer that OT is a hard degree and that I might want to consider another course. She was concerned about my ongoing/complex trauma. The thing is I would like to be in the helping profession. However, I also feel like I'm just not 'ready' for OT too. Mainly because the psychologist told me how abusive my household really is when all this time I've been denying it as a coping mechanism. I feel like I don't suit the image of a health professional. My life is not perfect. I feel like going to university has exacerbated my trauma. I get really worried that I'm not in the right course and that I'm making things more difficult for myself w my trauma past. I feel like OT is unrealistic for me.

I have considered other courses like nursing, social work etc. However, I will need to get back on good standing to switch. It seems like I have thought this through. I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

[smallwolf]

Hi. I was in the middle of a degree when my mental health took a downward turn. I was lucky enough to be able to withdraw from one subject and only 1/2 subjects that term. I then took the max. allowed terms off to get my head right. Between then and now I will finish with a lesser qualification and that is OK by me. I don't know how much of the course you have done but that might be an option.

On a positive note, it sounds like you have thought about this seriously and taking the opinions of your support into account as well. When the accessibility officer said about considering another course, were you given any suggestions?

There are plenty of options (?) in a mental health space and you listed a few in your post. There is also counselling. As for your life not being perfect, that can also help you depending on the area you end up in ... empathy for what a client might be going through. Many people who end up in this are have had their own issues to deal with as well. Your life does not have to be perfect.

You are not hopeless. Life can be unfair and we dont know when issues will occur. You did the best you could in the circumstances. Fwiw... I also failed a subject in my 1st degree.

I would be interested in hearing more about ...

"going to university has exacerbated my trauma. I get really worried that I'm not in the right course"

My experience was that if I was thinking about my anxiety, work issues, etc then it impacted negatively on my study. This can be different to being worried about being in the right course.

Finally, are these other students you could talk to?

Tim

[continuousventer]

I will currently be between 2nd/3yr of OT this year in first semester. I mean studying part-time is always an option.

She didn't suggest any other courses. I don't know why but she just said that.

That is very true. I mean with my degree of OT, I could also become a counsellor too.

Thanks for your comforting words. I really did try to do the best I could. It's just that with my university, they do this conditional status thing with social work and physiotherapy too.

I felt like the more I studied the more I was taking back control of my life. Plus it seems like I'm pretending to be ok. I understand what you mean about the impact of anxiety.

I have a supportive friend who sees me as an OT. My other friend is in engineering and has been on conditional status twice. He says that if I want it I could become an OT

I don't know I think my resilience is wearing thin. I'm in a pain bubble.

Thanks for listening to me though