Off the Rails

[Rose_A]

Hi All,

I am new on here and hoping to get a little bit of advice. Right now I am in my final year of school and only have a few weeks left, which is exciting. However, I am finding it hard to concentrate during this vital time of study as I am completely stressed out. This is not just because school but due to work, family, friends and monetary issues.

I currently work as a casual employee and my boss is absolutely horrible to me, I feel discriminated (gender) against at my work as all the other employees are male and when something goes wrong, I am the one who gets the blame, most of the time even when I haven't been doing anything to do with the issues, I also get pushed around a lot, both verbally and physically. My work is making me really unhappy. However, despite wanting to quit I cant due to having to pay rent and other essential costs of living.

More so, due to being stressed out because school and work my relationships with my family and friends are not stable at all, this is making me even more stressed because I heavily rely on interaction with other people to keep my "head in the game".

and just to top that off, I have been incredibly physically ill this year, being admitted to hospital three times and even now I am sick.

I honestly don't know how to reduce this stress and was hoping that someone could give me some tips which can help me. I am worried that if I cant reduce this stress soon not only will I do poorly in school but will eventually I will "fall off the wagon" or in other words go insane. This really scares me. I am hoping one of you lovely people can help me out here.

[CygnetSkylar]

Hi Rose A,

It's awesome that you are recognising these negative aspects of your life and that you're reaching out to try to solve this. It's a great first step. The last few weeks of high school was super draining for me- I was really done with high school by that point and really wanted it all to be over and start my next chapter so I can't imagine how much worse it might seem for you.

Firstly, with regards to your work, that does not sound like a healthy environment at all. Is there upper management that you could lodge a complaint to? Perhaps it might be helpful to ask for assistance (if possible) from family members just for these next month or so and quit that job so that you can focus on your studies if nothing changes in that environment. You do not deserve or need that extra stress put onto you from inconsiderate people like that.

I found allocating "me time" during my exam preparations very important when I was going through that time. It might always seem like you should be doing more study, or working, or doing something productive but it makes such a big difference for you to step away and just immerse yourself in something you enjoy. That could be sports, watching TV, reading memes- whatever. You need to distract yourself and give your mind a chance to just detach from all the work for a bit- an hour even. In the same vein, I never found stuff like deactivating my Facebook during that time to be helpful at all. It's nice to scroll (in your allocated breaks) and stay connected with the people around you.

One last thing that I can say with my experience with high school and working with uni students is that whatever your exam score comes to will not define who you are. There are so many pathways that are available regardless of what your score is. Some might take longer but it will get you to where you want to be eventually. A vast majority of people in tertiary study won't even mention their high school exam results after their first year at uni. Please don't let the pressure of exams get to you too much- just work hard and know that you did your best.

Feel free to reach out here more in the coming weeks if you feel troubled 🙂

[Pysis]

Hi rose

welcome to the forums.

i know exactly how hard it is to have a horrible boss, I actually just got fired by one today but anyway. It sounds to me like it's just everything has gotten the better of youand that can show its self in physical forms as well, I'm not sure if that's happening here but it very well could be. First of all I'd start trying to find another job anywhere even if it just gives you a little more money if you can find somewhere that makes you feel appreciated it makes you feel better. If you want to you can report your boss if he is being sexist or bullying you in anyway, while this won't change your stress levels right now it could do in the future.

as for your relationships with your family and friends can I ask if anything has happend to make them unstable? Anyway you can always try volentering someone for a couple hours or try meeting some new people, I know that's not easy when your studying though. You could also try drawing or listening to music or if you have a pet spending some time just with them.

Ireally hope you feel a little better soon and I'm always here to talk if you need to. I don't know if I helped at all, but best of luck.

Nath

[geoff]

hi Rose, welcome to the forum where you've had a couple of good replies, and I do remember back when I was in HSC jamming all that information into my brain and trying to remember it all when the exam time came along, and goodness me that was 45 years ago but I will never forget it.
With your schoolmates, ignore them because most times you won't see them again after the exams, even though you may say 'I'll give you a ring', usually it doesn't happen, so just concentrate on what you are doing, remember it will be a tense time while these exams are happening, I know this, how about going for a swim in an indoor pool if you can find the time.
Tell your boss straight out that you don't like being picked on, because you are going through a difficult time, and explain it's exam time and could he please lay off, you only have to stay there while you do the exams and then you will have time looking for another job. Geoff.