Numb

[fridaymornin]

Hey,

New to this so see how it goes!

I just wanted to seek some advice/ideas from someone. Anything really. I have some issues going on in my life at the moment, just like the rest of us, which are always a rollercoaster ride to deal with. I just feel numb quite a bit, in terms of some days I'll wake up and it's like my personality has been drained out of me.... I don't want to do anything, see anyone etc etc and the worst bit is? No matter how bad I feel, I can never cry. The tears just won't come and I'm stuck in this kind of fog in my head that just numbs everything. It's a really horrible feeling and I really don't know if I can keep doing this. I feel like I'm such a burden and really really hate myself whenever the fog comes.. I'm not myself. Unless this is a part of me?

Any advice would be appreciated and thank you x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi fridaymornin,

It’s lovely to have you on board the BeyondBlue forums 🙂 I hope you’re finding your way around here okay...

You sound as though you’re feeling really disconnected with the world and even to yourself. I feel that would be very draining and disorienting...

I think knowing that you have emotions but not being able to express them would be very frustrating. I feel numbness can be unsettling...it’s as though you’re physically present but not completely present emotionally...

The self loathing must be rough on top of everything else you’re going through. To me, even though I don’t know you, you don’t sound like a “burden” as you put it. What you do sound like is an insightful person who is not afraid to reach out to ask for support, which is pretty brave in my opinion 🙂

My gentle suggestion is perhaps to look up Headspace online. They’re known for their (free) mental health services to young people. It should be fairly easy to find them online if you’re interested. It’s up to you but perhaps this is something you might like to consider...

There’s no rush or pressure but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear how you’ve been doing since your opening post.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[fridaymornin]

Hi Pepper!

Thanks so much for your lovely reply. It's really nice to know that I'm not alone 🙂

It is a really frustrating feeling, feeling horrible and not being able to express it. It's like being stuck inside my own head and just can't function.

I will definitely check out Headspace... I have the app on my phone which is quite helpful to get pulled back into reality if I guess the 'fog' gets too thick.

It's a bit strange, most days I'll wake up absolutely fine and then halfway through the day I just kind of disconnect and sometimes it lasts for the rest of the day and others it comes and goes.

Kindest regards x

[Peppermintbach]

Hi fridaymornin,

You’re most welcome and thanks so much for writing in again. It’s really good to see you on the forums again 🙂

I think that I get what you’re saying. Feeling trapped inside your own head is a horrible feeling. So much to express but it’s like there’s no outlet...it must be a very suffocating feeling...

It does sound very unsettling and confusing to have the disconnect come and go while other times, the disconnect lasts longer...

I think it’s great that you already have the Headspace app on your phone and want to check them out.

Plus of course you’re always welcome here to write to vent, purge feelings, chat, etc any time. Please know, while there’s no pressure of course to write, this is a safe space for you that is open to you...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper