Not too sure what the problem is and how to tackle it

[Heytherehowyoudoing]

Hey! i'm new to this website, pleased to meet you all
I will get right to the topic: i am having an anxiety period. Last time i experienced one of those was 3 years ago during my last year of highschool. I saw a psychologist, learned how to manage it, and it all got better.
This time i'm feeling a little different. Over the year of 2017 i have been trying to, little by little, tackle some fears of mine. I definitely gained more confidence from overcoming, for example, my fear of fish and of participating in extracurricular activities.
I am generally a pretty chill person and not to anxious; but when i am anxious, it's bad.
Anyway this period was sparked by me trying to overcome my fear of driving. Took several lessons, and my driving got a lot better. I am very same and rarely make a mistake.
During my first test, i failed instantly due to a variable that wasn't my fault. They admitted so themselves. That made me slightly frustrated at the time and brought about a period of unproductiveness, about a month. I couldn't stop thinking about it and felt inadequate. I don't like how you are treated during lessons and in that environment in general. I know it's silly and i don't even need a license for my every day life but it's bothering me. I stayed up constantly refreshing the website trying to find new test times, and found one for this morning, which made it a little better but still felt uncomfortable. I failed it again although this time was my fault and was right near the end. I'm about to go overseas and probably won't get to do the test again for another month. I have probably my most extreme semester at uni next semester and should have started preparing weeks ago. This anxiety killed my momentum.
I have this awful feeling that unless i get this done with i won't be able to focus on everything else. It just feels terrible. There is seemingly nothing i can do about it
and i can't wait the whole year without doing the test because that means i will have to take MORE lessons in the future, and be in the environment for longer.
So my questions are the following:
1. How do i live with myself for the next month
2. what is the greater underlying problem here? it would be silly to assume this wouldn't come up again after driving is over.
Thank you all very much, i really appreciate your help.

[Heytherehowyoudoing]

I am very same and rarely make a mistake.

oh the irony, i meant i am very safe.

[james1]

hey heytherehowyoudoing

I'm so sorry for the delay in my response. Usually I'm looking for threads which only have 1 post, so I overlooked this. That was quite an ironic little mistake wasn't it. That's okay. Good to see you can see the humour in that, aha.

First of all congratulations on trying to work on these different fears of yours. I honestly think fear is one of, if not the strongest emotion we have. It sounds like you're putting a lot of effort in at the moment to conquer this fear of driving and it's no failing of yours to not pass the test. A lot of people do for various reasons. Some people never get it.

Unfortunately I can't really answer your question about what the underlying problem is. Have you seen your old psychologist again from 3 years ago? It sounds like their help and expertise could be useful here.

In terms of the next month, it's hard but can you set yourself a goal to work on the thing that didn't go well last time? Could you even work on that with a friend or family member rather than a formal driving lesson? Perhaps they would be more understanding.

James

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Heytherehowyoudoing,

Hey there how you doing?

Sorry I couldn't resist 🙂 Thank you for your post and your questions! This definitely made me think because it reminds me of when I was in a similar boat as you; navigating school and doing driving tests. I've had anxiety for many years and I've failed twice - so know that you're definitely not alone here.

You said in your post that you've had anxiety for a while, so I'm guessing around 2014? I'm wondering if you can talk about how you coped with it - you mentioned you saw a psychologist; what sorts of things did you do?

Even though anxiety looks different on everyone, it's often treated pretty similarly - being able to talk about it and reframe our thinking, as well as being able to be mindful of and navigate our breathing. So I'm kind of guessing perhaps that's what might have happened in your sessions.

I'm going to go on a bit of a hunch here, and you can correct me if I'm wrong -

When we go and see the psychologist we kind of build up this 'anxiety' muscle; so you probably found that seeing him or her helped you manage it. But it wasn't just about seeing them, but about what you were doing with them and on your own in-between those appointments. Probably a lot of stuff you might not have been aware of. I know for me when I'm managing my anxiety well I'm really mindful of what's happening and how I'm feeling. But when I'm not doing well - I get lost. Lost in my thoughts and my panic. Perhaps this is what's happened to you too?

So with all that in mind, my answers are.

1 - Have a think about what sorts of techniques you learned with the psychologist. Have a think about the driving tests; maybe have a read over the books if that helps or practice.

2 - I think that perhaps it might just be your anxiety muscle just not being as strong as it once was. Sometimes we don't always realise this until something happens - like a driving test, or our first job interview, or any kind of big deal.

I hope that this helps somewhat! Please let me know what you think about this even if I'm well of track 🙂