No one having my back...

[notneeded]

Hey,

So I dated this guy for a short amount of time. We didn’t fight. We actually loved each other a lot. When we first started talking, we were quite honest with each other. He thought that I liked one of his friends. I didn’t. I told him that I didn’t and he said he believed me. When breaking up, he said that things were going too ‘fast’. I said that we could still be together and slow things down. We didn’t necessarily have to break up... after breaking up he told his friends who were also my friends that I liked him and he was just trying to get avoid me. It wasn’t true. He also told them that I liked this other guy and when that guy rejected me that’s when I went to my ex as a last option. It wasn’t true. I never liked his friend. I actually really loved him. Yes I’ve liked a lot of guys before him but I actually loved him. He gave me a feeling I’ve never felt. He was so sweet, caring and protective of me. I loved that.

Just recently one of my friends in my friend group confronted me and said how I play with guys feelings especially my ex’s. I don’t. I didn’t. I never did. She also said that I led him on. Little does she know that I genuinely liked him. When she screamed at me, everyone else in my group left except for this one person who stood next to me and recorded everything. I felt betrayed. I felt lonely. When were they when I needed them the most? After screaming at me she left with a smile looking all happy because she feels ‘accomplished’. I started to tear up and everyone started coming to me asking if I was okay even the girl I didn’t really like offered me tissues. That’s when it all hit me. I don’t have any real friends. No one had my back.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve cried so much that my eyes are puffy and I’m getting dark circles. I’m not sure on how much this is going to affect school and my marks but I’m glad there is only a month and a half of school left.

This took me a while to write as I kept deleting it as I went. I don’t know if I should post this or not but I really need help. I’m confused, frustrated, lonely and angry.

[Quercus]

Hi Needed and welcome to the forums.

I'm glad you hit post after all. What you describe is something I think every woman (probably every person actually) eventually experiences... Realising not everyone is genuine or trustworthy.

And my goodness it hurts.

Have you got support from your family or anyone outside of school you can confide in? I feel so strongly that you need people who know you to remind you what this twit ranted at you about is worth squat. What would she know!? If she was smiling and ranting perhaps she was just enjoying the attention or perhaps jealous or keen on your ex.

My point is what she thinks may hurt but it doesn't matter. The only ones who truly know what goes on in a relationship are the partners themselves. Everyone else loves to have an opinion though when they perhaps should just butt out.

As horrid and cliche as it sounds this will pass ok. Give it a week and someone else at school will be the newest target. My goodness how easily we forget how hard school is.

I used to throw myself into my study when hurt. It was my way of saying to whoever hurt me "you may have power over me right now in this small school but far out you are nothing in the great scheme of my life". If you feel it is impacting on your studies is there a school counsellor or trusted teacher you can talk to?

What do you enjoy doing? Perhaps it is time to meet people outside of your school. If noone there was a good friend to you that says a lot about them as people. It doesn't mean you aren't worth being friends with... It means they're crap friends. Time to meet some new ones?

I hope you can dry your tears and hold your head up.

Also the toad that recorded it all is probably the person I'd be most wary of. Anyone who wants to record someone else's pain is not someone I'd count as trustworthy.

Please try focus on taking care of yourself.

Nat

[Tom_M-S]

Hey,

Good on you for posting here! Honestly that sounds horrible to go through, especially at the end of school, when you are super stressed.

I am in Year 12 now and have gone through a fair bit at school. I understand that at the moment, you'll feel so mad that as soon as you finish school you'll want to completely block off your friends group. Well, that's exactly the feeling I've felt, too often during high school.

The girl who lost it at you has no idea what is going on. She doesn't have the right to talk to you like she did and then walk away. As for the girl who filmed it, who stood by and said nothing.

I presume you have upcoming exams, please try and not let this distract you too much. Once you finish school - as I'd imagine you have thought about - you are going to be so happy that it's over. School sucks sometimes. Try and give your best go to your upcoming exams, make yourself proud!

I completely understand how much it hurts right now, but try to talk to people outside of school. I deal with anxiety myself, so I never really been one to talk to people - in fear of judgement - but if you're feeling up to it, try and get in touch with your school councillor, or even a teacher you are close with.

Remember, do not ever doubt yourself, you seem really mature and smart for our age. Remember that when school finishes, your life begins.

Best of luck, please understand it'll get better! As much as it sucks right now!

Tom