Need someone to talk to.

[Allie828]

Hey guys,

So I’m 23 years old, and last year my mother passed away after a long battle with Cancer. She went through a lot of turmoil, so much pain and it was excruciating watching the process. I became her carer for the months prior to her death, and I experienced a lot of things, so now my doctor says that I have ‘PTSD’ and depression due to nightmares and dark thoughts.

I’ve always suffered with severe anxiety as well, so talking to people (even family or my boyfriend) is hard. I’m great with texting people, but speaking is difficult. My therapists suggestion was to “just get out there and see your friends and family more often”- this is going to sound really rude, but it’s hard to take that advice on board when no one cares, whenever I meet up with friends or family they cry about my mum, or entirely talk about themselves avoiding any ounce of what’s happening in my life.

Im about to move house, and barely anyone in my life know about it. Im afraid that I’m going to just be isolated in that house and absolutely no ones going to care.

I know none of this really flows, and there’s nothing really to address, but I just wanted to put myself out there and hopefully speak with someone who might actually care for once?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Allie828,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for reaching out! I'm so glad you're here.

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through; I feel frustrated knowing you've had to both lose your mother and feel totally isolated! That's an awful little package hey.

I think though even without knowing you that your friends probably do care - it's just they might have a terrible terrible way of showing it. I only say this from experience as I know when I lost loved ones I felt totally alone too. I think though that people don't know what to do or say because it's too awful - which means they slip up, make it about them or in my case play really loud music so nobody would have to talk!

Having said that though, you'll find BeyondBlue is not that place - we can absolutely be here for you and care about you.

I hope this helps - feel free to let us know how we can be here for you.

[Amiii]

Hi Allie,

I understand what you mean about about coming on here to be heard, Im sorry you feel this way. I do agree in what romantic_thi3f said, that your friends and family might really struggle to show they care the way they should. I've also realised myself that especially with that age group many people can be rather self- absorbed a lot of the time, likely because so much change is occurring in all their lives. you should know that its totally okay to tell people how you feel, and that if you try and bring up topics about whats going on in your life they should be more engaged and willing to help. it may seem like people don't care, but you should know that deep down they do. All I can think of at the moment is to just keep talking to people, because eventually you will catch someone that is genuinely interested and caring. I also think people on BeyoundBlue are also pretty helpful and a good place to share.