Need help plus advice urgently

[Billisdoomed]

Gday there guys and gals. Here's a little bit of back story and what my situation is.

So I'm a 25yo male and have been the sole income provider for my household for nearly 7 years. (Providing for my mum and 4 younger siblings) Dad left when my youngest sister was born and hasn't helped with anything since.. (last I heard was he was living it up in Thailand with a completely new family)

Now my main problem is that I have recently lost my job (have now got down to 5 dollars to my name), my car was written off this week (which my insurance won't cover).. Bills are piling up, our electricity is about to be cut, my mum broke her back earlier in the year and the medical bills for this are insane. But the worst of it is I haven't been able to buy food for nearly 2 weeks and the house has ran completely out of food and my younger siblings have only had bread and cheese to eat for nearly 5 days. Myself and mum have had nothing to eat at all in 2. (Trying to preserve what little is left for the younger ones). We also live in the middle of no-where (like an hour from the closest town and that's only a tiny village) the house we own is also nearly beyond livable.. (no running water inside falling down around us) so there's no support network to get help from.

It's like I'm in a deep deep hole with no way of climbing out of it. Everything in my world has just become completely stuffed within a 3 week period. I'm meant to providing for my family and I can't even do that anymore... at the end of the day I haven't got the slightest bit of care for my own well being, but I haven't slept in 3 days just constantly worrying about how my mother and siblings are meant to survive.

I don't expect this to help, but I needed to tell someone... And anyone I've tried to talk to so far just shuts me down and calls me a whinger and makes me feel even worse for not being able to do anything.

[Just Sara]

Hi and welcome Bill;

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and worry that at 25 your life is this upsetting. There are many avenues of support via the internet or phone. The following link could be helpful;

https://www.carergateway.gov.au/resources-for-rural-and-remote-carers

If you also call lifeline on 131114 they can also provide resources for urgent assistance. The Salvation Army or Saint Vincent's De Paul can help with electricity accounts as well as food.

Centrelink is a good place to find financial support though it may take a while to get thru to them via phone, but stick it out if you can. There may be a number for remote areas on their website.

Your situation's urgent Bill. Even if you have to ask neighbours for food, it's worth the embarrassment to feed your family and get help.

Please act now ok. I'm here most days if you want to chat or ask more questions. Take care...

Kind thoughts;

Sez

[-Qball-]

G'day Bill,

Sorry to hear your situation, there's a lot of good advice above in seeking assistance, and there's lots out there both in the community and programmes you can access. I too suggest reaching out ASAP, the one observation I like to make is that sometimes things can really go bad really quickly (3 weeks as you say) but they can also equally turn around just as fast too! You will be able to get things back to stable - ask for help, take small steps and look after yourself and your immediate as you have done for so long. All the best -Q.

[Crazy_chick]

Hey mate,

Okay look your about 10 years older than me and quite frankly I have not worked ever or needed to worry about providing for a family. So I am no help there and will leave the advice giving about that to the others. But I just wanted to say a few word to you about the last part of your post.

You said “but I needed to tell someone... And anyone I've tried to talk to so far just shuts me down and calls me a whinger and makes me feel even worse for not being able to do anything“ Your not a whinger nor do you need to feel bad about not being able to do anything... because you are doing something and you have been all your life.

I don’t know what it is worth me telling you this but from my understanding through your post ever since your father left, you felt the need to grow up. To become the father figure and support your family. However at the end of the day you’re human and you get tired it only natural so don’t beat yourself over it look after yourself too because seeing you like that will not only affect your family’s will to go on but also yours... each time you see yourself in the mirror you’ll hate it and will break even more.

Someone once told me if you continue stressing and worrying you’ll burn yourself out and both your studies and mental health will suffer... I didn’t believe him but reading your post I realised he was right and you have burnt yourself out... so don’t take all of the load the stress... share it with your family even with us here on this website we will be here for you... your not superman non of us humans are...

Going back to what you said about needing to tell someone for what its worth I am hearing you... and I think your strong... I admire you and hope everything will get better for you and your family... I know it is easy to say don’t stress or worry but please take a break and breathe because life is very short and when you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

I will be praying for you...

[Just Sara]

What a beautiful response Crazy Chick...welcome too btw;

Not so crazy hey? At your age with so much wisdom, intelligence and caring, you'll go far. Thankyou for posting your first post to someone in need. I hope to see you around the forum with your own thread soon. It'd be a pleasure chatting with you..

Sez

[Just Sara]

Hi again Bill;

Being Saturday, most of the resources above will be closed till Monday. I'm really concerned for you and your family. I wish I could do more my friend, but unfortunately this site is all about anonymity.

I know what it's like to be destitute. I once approached my butcher and asked if I could work for some meat as I didn't have any money to feed my family. He didn't have anything for me to do, but gave me a week's worth of meat like a good Samaritan does.

There are people out there who will help; you just need to bite the bullet and reach out. I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation. It's heart wrenching. I really wish I could do more.

I know this might sound a bit 'thingy', but if you call your closest police station, they may be able to point you in the right direction. They know better than anyone where the best sources of local help would be.

I also hear you and the pain in your voice Bill. No-one should have to bare the pressure you're under especially at your age; it's a credit to you that you've done so well to date in your father's absence.

Please take care and let me know how you're travelling ok.

Many kind thoughts;

Sez

[Crazy_chick]

Thank you Just Sara.😊